Interval

I'm 24 years old this year.
It's the age when you start to feel like getting married.
For a mixture of vague and hazy reasons, you just can't.
Are you in the same situation?

---------------------------------------------------------

I shall not be updating Scandals in Lutfi's Life for a while.
I want to be more honest, and more revealing.
I'm not ready.
I am truly sorry.

In the meantime.
I shall be working on another blog.
Something less personal.
Something for the whole.
Revamp Malaysia

------------------------------------

I would always try to avoid trouble.
But if a trouble comes to me,
I would turn it into happiness.
And girls are indeed...troublesome.

When I come back.
I promise you more scandals.
They are so scandalous that you'll be craving for more.
Haha.

XOXO Luts
5th of November 2008

Tag Yang Dibenci

No offence for the title :p But I really hate tags, coz it forces something out of me. Not a right way of communication. But since I've been tagged, here goes anyway~ But please don't tag me anymore. Pleaaasssse~ I really mean it. *sob sob*

THIS ONE'S FROM MOON

7 fakta tentang saya:

1) Not yet 24 years old. Almost 19. Huhu. Still young and immature.
2) Small devious eyes
3) Jahat
4) Keji
5) Selekeh
6) Suka kutuk orang
7) Tak gentleman langsung
*No.2-7 are what my friends wud say about me*

7 perkara menakutkan saya.

1) Hellfire
2) Azab kubur
3) Sins
4) Killing someone, or an innocent creature
5) Hurting someone, or innocent creatures
6) Making a mistake dat involves other people, and it can't be undone
7) Ghost

7 lagu buat masa sekarang

1) What About Now - Daughtry
2) I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
3) Give You The World - The D.E.Y
4) Mantera Beradu - Malique feat. M. Nasir
5) 7 Things - Miley Cyrus
6) Kekasih Yang Tak Dianggap - Kertas
7) Situasi - Bunkface
*I love listening to Yuna's song. Damn her voice is so angelic*

7 perkara yang saya selalu sebut

1) Huhu
2) Arkkk
3) Muahaha
4) Lalalalalaa~
5) Crap
6) Cisss
7) Celake

7 perkara amat bernilai

1) Family
2) Friends
3) Hadiah orang bagi
4) Money~
5) The car that I'm using now
6) My PC
7) My wallet and everything in it

7 'pertama kali' dalam hidup saya

1) Arghh~ mana nak ingat~
2) Arghh~ mana nak ingat~
3) Arghh~ mana nak ingat~
4) Arghh~ mana nak ingat~
5) Arghh~ mana nak ingat~
6) Arghh~ mana nak ingat~
7) Arghh~ mana nak ingat~

7 blog yang dipilih untuk tag

1) Blog Afdlin Shauki
2) Blog Mahathir
3) Blog Anwar
4) Blog Lim Kit Siang
5) Blog Raja Petra
6) Blog Hot fm
7) Blog Era fm
Muahahahahahaha


THIS ONE'S FROM JAS

What were you doing 5 years ago?
2003...MCIIUM

What were the 5 things on your to do list today?
1. go to work
2. work
3. have fun at work
4. lepak at my workplace
5. Bermain tenet
*I don't have a to-do-list lah~*

What are 5 snacks that you enjoy?
1. kerepek
2. keropok
3. koko krunch + milk
4. cornflakes + milk
5. aiskim!

What are 5 things that you would do if you a billionaire?
1. I'll turn myself into a multi-billionaire
2. Nak buat beberapa fund/tabung yayasan
3. My dreamhouse!
4. Wanna have a themed restaurant/cafe
5. Wanna travel the world and go places

What are 5 jobs you’ve had?
1. ajar tusyen
2. data-entry
3. research assistant
4. prebet sapu
5. jual dadih

Tag 5 other Blogger….?
1. mahathir
2. anwar ibrahim
3. afdlin shauki
4. lim kit siang
5. raja petra
*muahahahaha*

Bloggy Persona Scandal

I've been using the same template for more than a year now. It's time to move on and change to a new one. I'm thinking of upgrading a couple of things as well while I'm at it. Add some gadgets, taggy, ads, things like that. The problem is, I couldn't find a perfect skin even after searching in various websites. This skin is for temporary. Or do you think it's good enough to replace the old one? Hmm...Black + red...looks pretty scandalous, isn't it? Huhu :p Just a coincidence lah. I was actually looking for something fresh and light, and perhaps something blue. Failed to find a nice one~ *sigh* By the way dear readers, if you have some courtesy, do help me with the polls on your left. I can't seem to make up my mind~ haha.

Anyway, I really like the old template, I just felt connected. But there are things in life that we just need to let go when the time comes. Sad, but true. But after you move on, another happiness awaits, in sya Allah (^_^)

Becoming & Being Better

I like Islam. Not coz it's my religion. I don't know. I just feel comfortable with it. Well, I'm not really a pious muslim. I'm just a so-so guy with a civic mind. But for some reason, Islam is one thing that I hold dearly. Mind you, I'm not a fanatic~ Before I go further, lets see where I'm standing now...

• I do not miss solah wajib.
• I do solah sunah rawatib (before or after solah wajib) occasionally, when I feel like it. I skip it most of the times.
  
• In my almost 24 years of life, I only perform solah sunah tahajud a few times. That's because we have qiamullail program. I don't think I have ever done it by myself.
• I pay zakat now.
  
• I fast (puasa). Never purposely miss it ever since standard 3.
• I still don't have that intention to collect lots n lots n tonnes of pahala during Ramadhan. Except for fasting and tarawih. I think everything else goes pretty much the same. Lailatul-qadr? still the same... *sigh*
  
• I do perform solah sunah tarawih, but sometimes I'm not so up to it. Tired and lazy~ But I do it anyway, up to 8 rakaah only. huhu.
  
• Solah sunah tarawih 20 rakaah? Not more than 3 times each year. This year? only twice~
• I like to recite the Quran, it makes me feel good. But I seldom go through the meanings.
• I do not want to kill anyone, disobey my parents, zina, steal anything or do any other big sins. Nauzubillah.
• I have a civic mind, but I'm not very pious. I wish I could avoid the smaller sins. But sometimes I purposely do it. But guilty feelings would stick around afterwards. But I do it again anyway :p
• Knowledge regarding Islam? I don't think I have much.

Well, I am a good person. Yes I do think that I am a good person. *tak malu. huhu.* But I do not think that I am a good-enough muslim. Do good deeds. Yep, I could do some. Avoid the bad ones. Nope, can't avoid all. That's where I'm standing now.

It's almost the end of Ramadhan. Am I better than I was last year? Yes. Am I worse than last year? Yes, too. Some part of me became better yet another part became worse. This year I eat moderately for buka puasa. Last year was always 'berhenti selepas kenyang'. I don't recite al-Quran this year as much as I did the years before. Well that's just two simple examples. There are other changes. The thing is, how can I say I'm a better person? or a better muslim?

Regardless of everything, I don't feel really really bad. *A little bad, yeah* Coz I do have the intention of being a better muslim. It's not an easy path. It may take some time. Years, maybe. Or decades. At this rate now, to be honest with myself, sins are not always avoidable. Sometimes things just happen. And sometimes it happens too fast it can't be undone anymore. And sometimes you are putting fun as your priority in life. Sometimes u got lost for a moment, or for a while. I consider that as a detour.

I would always do good deeds. But I also don't have doubt of doing something sinful someday. When you're alone, you tend to get lost easier. Perhaps when I have my own wife and kids to take care of, I won't get lost anymore. Nevertheless, no matter how lost I might be, I know that I would find my way back to the path, the path in becoming a better muslim. With a prayer that He would always be guiding me.

DEAR BLOG, DEAR YOU, DEAR READERS, SELAMAT HARI RAYA. MAAF ZAHIR BATIN. Forgive me if I ever put a cut on your soft, fragile heart. For it was never intended. Wallahu a'lam.

Bits of Mind

Lately, lotsa things just popped up in my mind every now and then. Always felt like writing them all down. The feeling, the mood was there. But since I'm super busy these couple of weeks, I didn't have time to blog. Funny, now that I have a lil time to write something, there's nothing in my mind. Blank. And I don't even have the feeling to write. Urghhh!! I'm such a forgetful guy, and am not so good at recollecting memories. Huhu :p Here's a portion that I managed to crack out of my forgetful mind. God knows there's a lot more~ but here's a tiny bit.

• Dear JPJ, can't you see all those black smoke coming out from the exhaust pipe~ or all you care is nothing but the road tax??
• You who like to litter, I despise you.
• Hey environmentalists, get your asses into politics and economies, you'll have all the sources needed to change the world. Seriously.

• Pakcik-pakcik dan abang-abang, Imam suruh rapatkan saf, bukan besarkan kuda-kuda mu itu~
• If u're a bloody smoker, and you eat kari, please don't come to the mosque~ Please.

• Which one is the hardest? Getting, keeping or letting go? To me, now, letting go is the easiest part. Keeping is the hardest. Oh, dilemma~
• Simpati? Ada. Sayang? Sangat. Cinta? Tiada.

This is a lousy post. I know. Haha. Still, it means something to me. Anyway, this blog is already 3 years old. I wish to write an anniversary entry and make some changes. Then again. I don't have much time. I could hardly catch my breath. See you in a while. After raya, maybe? Huhu.

******************

I remembered a few more :p

• I hate wars. Star Wars not included tho. Why do we have wars~ It is never inevitable, and always avoidable. And those people who deliberately spark the wars and make profit out of it? Intelligent creature they are. Despicable scum they are too.
• A big sigh everytime people make Islam a difficult religion. Many times have I seen people couldn't seem to have a 'perfect' niah for their solah. Some had their takbiratul ihram only like 10 times before they were truly satisfied. And each time with an aggressive expression of sorta like trying to catch a bird flying right in front of them. *Terganggu khusyuk aku* And that made me wondered...adakah Islam itu agama yang mudah bagi mereka...? Coz niah is the fundamental beginning of everything. If it's already that difficult...then... *sigh*
• If you have any intention of spitting on the street or on the sidewalk or any place where people passes through, you better suck it back in. Don't give me another reason to despise someone. I don't wanna be stepping on your filthy saliva.
• I'm missing a few people - 2 seniors and a schoolmate. And I'm missing a couple of birthday boys and birthday gals too. Guez I'm just too slow to catch up with em. Gosh! Forgot to send a kad raya to my sis~ huhu. Err...sory sis? :p
• I can't keep it at the moment, but I might wanna have it later when I'm ready to keep it. I'm thinking that it would be better off without me now. For its sake, I wanna let it go. But it's small hand is already grasping my finger. *sigh* Guess letting go isn't that easy either...
  

My Convocation

Perhentian Island

Everybody has been updating their blogs like 10 times since last month. And I just have the time to write a new entry today. I thought I'd be having lots of leisure times with this new job. Apparently not. Huhu :p Still, it's fun to be doing what I like to do, though I have to sacrifce a couple of other things that I like to do. Well,there will be times for catching up later, such as today (^_^)v And I even went to Perhentian Island last weekend yeyy!

A lil scandal for a scandalous blog. Huhu :p

It's a lil bit late to mention this, but I had my convocation last 2 weeks, on the 24th of August. Was it super fun? Hmm...so-so, i guess. Well, I've graduated in February, and have been working ever since. I even changed to a new job. So to me it's kinda like 'just a convocation'; nothing serious, nothing grand. What mattered to me then was meeting with my old friends. Yeah, I was expecting a big gathering, catching up with em, getting to know their families. Unfortunately, not much of those happened. All of us got separated right after we got out of the hall and everybody was busy with their family, including me :p Some of them went back early. *sigh* huh~

Nevertheless, some of us managed to gather together and snap some awesome pictures! Although not everyone's in it, but it should be enough for reminiscing later (^_^) As long as the memories remain somewhere~ Huhu. I don't have a camera. These are some of the pics that I could grab from my friends in friendster. There should be more though. But they don't have any reason to upload Lutfi's pics in their photo albums, rite? Huhu.

The sky is yours~

My classmates~ Aku rasa budak yang tak pakai robe tu tak grad lagi kut...she's still in skola rendah~ huhu :p

Yeah, throw some more! Cepat~ Lepas ni dah nak hujan~

My batch~ Luv em all!

Ade ke patut diorang cakap aku macam budak tadika...

Ehem.

My ex. Oops, Ex-image consultant only lah~


Post-convo dinner at Saisaki Buffet.

Muka aku yang cina dah semakin jepun sebab makan sushi banyak sangat~ huhu

****************************

Did you see what I was wearing? Huhuhu. Brand new suit~ and a new haircut too. I mean I just cut my hair short. It was pretty long before. Oh, I would probably shave my head again after raya :p Anyway, despite my not-so-handsome-looking face, the suit made me look pretty damn good, doesn't it? Haha. Mind you, I didn't buy em solely for the sake of convocation. I've always wanted a new suit. I'd be using em a lot after this! Hey, I'm in a professional field~ Gotta have such attire ;)

As always, I suck at shopping clothes. Major suck. Oh, did you notice the green shirt I was wearing inside? I bought that a few months ago in this entry. For the blazer, I bought em on my way to KL. Me and my ma stopped by at East Coast Mall, Kuantan. We went into Parkson and headed straight to G2000 section. Coz I got an info that they're giving lotsa discount on blazers! *Tenkiu McLa!* Huhu. No image consultants too this time. No Arshana, no Ati, no Mun no Ann. My ma was with me, but she didn't know much about suits. *Oh help me God~*. I flipped through the blazers hanging there. No salesgirl was there at the moment.

"Damn, why are there so many to choose from yet they all look the same?! I hate convo~"

I called Arshana. No reply~ "Crap, sape lagi aku bleh contact ni..."

"Razali! Hoho, Zali metrosexual sket. Yeyy!"

I called Zali. No reply~ "Tak guna, Zali. Ko gi mana~ Huuu~" *almost cried..huhu :p *

Then the salesgirl came out from the storage room. Luckily she was very helpful! (^_^) Telling me the differences and asking me to try this and this and that. Then Zali called. "Yeyy! Saviour!" As expected, he knows everything bout mens' clothing! - The buttons, the shape, the cut, the collar, the latest design, the in-thing! - I'm telling you he knows everything about it! Like a fashion guru~ huhu.

I also tried the pants. I spent about 2 hours there and called Zali like 5 times asking for guidance! Muahaha :p And who do you think made the final decision? My mom? Me? Guess again~ It's the salesgirl. Hahaha. Yep, she said this blazer fit me better over that one and that one coz bla bla bla. I don't mind, coz she's pretty cute and seemed like to know what she's saying. I will follow you~ Huhu. I almost bought a pair of black pants there too. Tried 4-5 pair of pants, then retried them again and again coz I'm sooo damn unsure bout how a good pair of pants supposed to be. When I was about to buy the one that I thought was the best, she said "Err..isn't the waist a little too big..?" Unfortunately they don't have a smaller size. Huhu. So afterwards, I text Zali,

"Jom kita kuar shopping esok! (^_^)"

Bought a new pair of black pants and a sleek tie with Zali at Midvalley on the next day! And Zali was also the one who helped me collect my convo robe the week before. Tenkiu very much Zali! I owe u big time!~ huhu. But I have to iron the robe the night before convo and it was super irritating! Mmg sumpah seranah la time gosok jubah tu. I hate convo~ Huhu.

P/s: To the juniors who are going to have your convocation next year. If you want to get what I wanted to have on your convocation day, do make plans with your friends! Oh, I don't mean the suit lah! Hahaha. I mean the big gathering with your friends and their families~ know the flow of programme on that day and plan earlier with all your friends on when to meet and where to meet and what to do. Let your family be friends with your friends' families. Not to mention you can take lotsa pics that way with everyone in it. So your convo wud be more happening! And guys, we're science students, so make some noise! Huhu (^_^) Hey, kitorang je yang baling mortar board tu tau!~ huhuhu. Oh, sweet memories~ ONE MORE THING!! AKU BERJAYA BUAT 'PEACE' KAT ATAS PENTAS SELEPAS AMIK SCROLL!! I don't have the pic, but it should be in the video. MUAHAHA~ Oh, I luv being a science graduate from Kulliyyah of Science IIUM! Coz we are wacky! (^_^)v

Super Update! Taman Negara + Kenyir + Wedding

KENYIR

I came back home from Taman Negara at noon of the 10th of August, Sunday. Had a short rest, then I punched in for work in the afternoon. As I walked into the office, I saw my big boss talking to a colleague of mine. As I was about to walk pass them, he called for me, saying "Lutfi, nak pergi Kenyir?"

"Err...nak!!...?" (^_^)

The trip was for a research project totally unrelated to me. Huhu. Two nights (12-14th August 2008). Free transportation, free accomodation (Resort, beb! Bukan khemah~) and most importantly, free good meals :D Talk about being lucky :p Lalalalalaaa~

----------------------------------------------------

TAMAN NEGARA

I joined the J.R.E. II. Or u may read it as Jungle River Ecology: Level two. From 4-9th of August 2008. Location? Taman Negara Pahang! (^_^) Since I did my internship at the Institute of Biodiversity (IBD) Lanchang, I was invited to be a volunteer for the program. You don't play-play ah, national level wooo~ Jointly organized by PERHILITAN, NRE, and Ministry of Education.

Well, it wasn't as fun and as challenging as I thought it would be. I was expecting students to be the participants, but they all turned out to be teachers~ And almost all are 30+ years old~ Huhu. The jungle trekking was easy peasy. But I had my fun anyway in that one week, and I think it's totally worth it (^_^) Hey, free holiday in Taman Negara with free good food and place to stay~ that's what matters most. Huhu :D

I leave the details and pics to Tuan Caracol, k. What I'd like to say about the trip is, it was totally worth it! Not coz of the program itself, but it's due to the chance of meeting the people that I had left 2 years ago - The staffs I met and learnt from in IBD. Puan Noni, Pak Andak, En. Syukri, En. Khairul, En. Ki, Pak Din and Cik Dila. My internship with them 2 years ago taught me a lot about life, and we had so much fun then!

I don't know bout their academic qualifications, whether all of them have degrees or diplomas or SPM or none. Those things don't matter. I never care. What I do know is, they are people with lotsa experience. The kinda experience that you don't learn in schools and universities. Some of them even have better ways of thinking than university students. Creativity? You might lose to them. Critical thinking? They could in fact teach you the right way to think. Huhu.

So what defines us? It's definitely not your certificates. It's your mind and heart. I ain't gonna respect you just because u have the certs. Dear readers, don't you dare look down on someone just because they have a lower academic qualification than you. Respect people equally. Don't prejudge. Certs won't do you any good if you have a rotten heart~

Oh, on our way back we dropped by at Merapoh. I got to meet dearest Wanie, Kira and Jannah! (^_^) I was super duper happy! My wish came true! Well...partly, coz sadly Iqah went for a school trip. Huu~ didn't get to meet her~ Love em like they're my own kids! Huhu

--------------------------------------------------------

WEDDING

1 month before 16th August 2008
"Lutfi, jemput la datang kenduri kawin aku 16hb Ogos"
= 1 wedding to attend

1 week before 16th August 2008
"Luppi, tau dok Sya (my ex-classmate) kawin minggu depan?"
= 2 weddings to attend

2 days before 16th August 2008
"Luppi, Diyana Husna kawin gok ari Sabtu ni."
= 3 weddings to attend

On the 16th of August 2008
"Lutfi, kita gi kenduri kawin member aku skali."
= 4 weddings to attend!

Dah la aircond kereta tak berfungsi~ I got back home with a severe headache and a totally worn out body. But glad that I made it to all four weddings (^_^)v

Who Do U Tell Your Stories To?

When you're gazing on the beautiful full moon on a cold yet heart-warming night, you would wanna tell someone about it. What you did, where you went, who you met, whatever happened or will happen to you, you would wanna tell it to someone. Be it your mum & dad, brothers or sisters, friends or lover(s). But I don't.

People like to talk about themselves. They always have stories to tell. But not me, I'm a lousy storyteller. And I don't think what happens in my life are of any importance to others. Sometimes I regret it after telling my life stories to others. Coz I'd think it wasn't important at all. Blogging is excluded, though. Coz blogging is more like writing a diary and letting others read it on their own free will.

I'm actually a quiet person. Despite how some of you have known me as, I am so not a talkative guy. I could be one, but I'm naturally not one. I suck at storytelling, I'm naturally not good at talking, but I do able to talk about ideas and facts. Even so, I would always prefer listening to talking. Sometimes I talk and tell only coz I feel the need to.

I enjoy looking at things. I enjoy listening to people. I hate people nagging at me, though. Huhu. Can't say I don't enjoy talking. I just don't feel like telling people about myself all of a sudden. I don't mind replying, responding and sharing in the means of talking. But I wouldn't prefer to start a conversation. You ask me and I shall answer kindly, it's always been that way to me. If you reach out your hand, I would gladly accept.

A couple of friends told me I wouldn't keep in touch with them if they didn't contact me first. I'm sorry. It's just me. But it doesn't mean I don't treasure you guys. I'm always glad if you guys keep in touch with me. And everytime you reach out for me, I'd definitely welcome you with my warmest heart (^_^)

Weddings

I have a few things to write right now. But here's a short one.

I've attended a couple of wedding receptions recently. One was my classmate's, and the other one was a friend from the same batch, but she took a different course. Next two weeks there'll be another one. Now this one will be my senior's wedding reception. He took the same course as I did. He'll be marrying his junior. Oh, his junior is my junior as well. Huhu :)

My faculty has 3 departments - Biotechnology, Computational & Theoritical Science, and Biomedical Science. I have lotsa friends from all three departments, be it juniors or seniors, and not to mention from my own batch. There are a few staffs that I'm close to as well. Referring to this paragraph and the previous, can you see where I'm getting at? It'll be tougher if you add up my ex-schoolmates. Huhu.

I just realized this yesterday...

I have to attend lots and lots of weddings!!

To all my friends who are reading this (and if they don't please help me relay the message), I have a request. Please consider to hold your wedding receptions in Kuala Terengganu!~ huhu

Just kidding :p No worries, as long as I have the money and the time, I'll definitely be there on the most glorious day of your wonderful life, the day u're crowned as kings and queens in your own kingdom! (^_^)v

Within 4 years from now, There'll be tonnes of weddings to attend! (Including my own! :p). Then the graph will go down and down...until I reach the age of 50+, the graph will rise up again! Huhu. Why? Coz then it'll be our kids' turn (^_^)

malas update yeyy!~ ban yai~

Arghhh!!~ malas nak update boleh tak?

Sooo much things to do lah lately. There's so little time, and when I had the time, I just couldn't get myself to write. But in everyday life, my mind is always sparked by things that happens around me. And those sparks make me go thinking bout writing something at that very moment. Then as time goes by, as I lalalalalaaa my way around, I would totally forgot about whatever there was in my head before. Huhu :p

I'm hardly in my office on weekends. I'd be either in KL or KT, my hometown. I'm going back home too this weekend. Homey sweet home. Huhu (^_^) I was in KL last week to send my lil sis off to Aussie. I'd be in KL next week to attend my lil sis's convocation. I even have to go earlier coz I need to go sampling for the research project I'm working on.

By the way, my contract with IIUM Consultancies shall end on 31st of July. Suddenly there are lotsa tasks need to be completed, so me and my partner MJ23 would get a bit busy till that date. Well, I don't mind working for a worthy pay ;) In the mean time, I got a couple of things I need to prepare for my new job which will start early next month. Yep! Another job awaits! And I'll be attending a programme called 'Jungle River Ecology' from 4th-9th of August 2008.

There you go, busy as a bumble bee~ but this one too is considered an update, right? (^_^)v

Born To Reign

"Wow, can't believe I made it through that..."

"How on earth did I manage to get out of such mess?!"

And sometimes I was simply speechless I could only laugh, "Ha.........Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" :D

Have you ever had the feeling that you are meant for something great? That He has a plan, and in that plan, YOU play one of the big roles?

The thought came to me sometimes - each time I survived an accident or an adventure and live to tell the tale; everytime I was in dire situations and in the end I managed to pull it through; the moment I was engulfed by the darkest sorrow and yet I could always see the light.

Studies, assignments, exams, all the last-minute works, friendships, relationships, brokenhearted, business, losses, sengkek, society, president, son, student, family, brother, lover, worker, research assistant, a mere person, bus accident, incidents, injuries, adventures, rock climbing, KT-KTN bicycle trip, final year project, thesis, works etc etc etc.

It's perplexing, yet so wonderful. I wonder how I am still alive and well after an incident, why I am always OK with whatever shortcomings, and why I am still standing and smiling. The irony is, after everything, I was always glad that they ever happened to me. The work of God is always a work of art, isn't it? Just look at the Quran, how can words be soooo rhythmic, and seems so beautiful even though you don't understand it.

Have a family and live a good, peaceful life. I could only think that far, for now. I bet most people are having the same thought. Study-Work-Get married-Have children-DIE-Heaven (or would it be Hellfire for you? haha :p). But deep in, I feel that there is something else. I don't know what it is, but I sure hope it's a great one. I am not still breathing and smiling to simply live a plain lifeless life!

I refuse to be just anyone, being only another passerby in this world. I shall live. And when I take my leave, I shall leave a living mark.

AT THE VERY LEAST, I would want to have Great studies and a memorable student life - Great work and happy working without any regret - Get married to an ever-loving wife with a great love story till the end of time - Bear wonderful children who will become greater persons than I shall ever be - Die, with glory, and only after I have changed the world into a better place. And above all, Heaven, as high as I'm allowed to be.

May us be guided.



Footnote: All the last-minute works seems to produce good results so far. It's mind-boggling~ I lived through it, but I never really sure what really happened :p Procrastination shouldn't produce good results, kan??? It's like I've been saved again yet again yet again yet again......Well, I did put quite an effort in the end, but there's always, always lots and lots of luck and guidance from Him. Sentiasa selamat dan tidak gagal, alhamdulillah (^_^)

License to Drive, Ticket for Speeding

I spent one whole week in KL + JB. Just got back in IIUM Kuantan last night. Pretty tiring~ But a man has got to work and have fun. Huhu. It's for my research project. We need to take blood samples from pesticde sprayers. Therefore we need to visit some estates and deal with their managers. Tiring, but wasn't so bad. We used the company's Avanza. Each of us got RM 40 daily allowance. We could claim for mileage and tolls. Kinda like going to KL for free~ huhu. Then 2 days ago my boss asked me n MJ23 to represent him to visit a practical student in JB. Well, another cuti-cuti Malaysia for us! We didn't get daily allowance, but getting the accomodation fee was good enough! lalalalalaa~ (^_^)

So, I've been driving and going places all week. Based at Taman Melati, we went to Lembah Beringin, Subang (3 times), Sg. Buloh, Petaling Jaya, Putrajaya, Johor Bharu, Gombak, and of coz, back to Kuantan terchenta.

I've been driving for about 6 years. I got my license to drive after SPM, when I was 18. I love driving! Especially if it's a good car and the radio works fine. What's a car without a radio, huh~ huhu. I'm not from a rich family. So far the best car I've driven was my sister's Satria Neo. Damn, that felt really good :D

My siblings (except my lil sis) are all racers. Ok, that's a bit stretching it. Hehe. But we really like to drive fast. Not like fast and furious, just faster than average drivers :p How fast can a proton get anyway~ I have 5 brothers, the craziest one was the fourth. My Kak Long, she's wicked too. Nevertheless, we don't do reckless driving. All of us drive safely (^_^)v

Throughout these 6 years of driving, never have I got into any accident. Told ya, I drive safely ;) And the traffic officer was never kind enough to give me any ticket for speeding or for breaking any rules and regulations on the road, until last monday. Darn it~ I was driving the company's Avanza on MRR2 Kepong when suddenly there's a road block ahead. The officer let the car in front of me passed. Owh, ok, lalalalalaa~ But then he pointed the red flag at me then shoved the flag (with utmost determination and power) to his right. As for me, I thought the Avanza was too big to go straight, so he wanted me to move a little to the left. Ok, dum da dum da daa~ to the left, to the left~ Naive and innocent, huh? Right after I passed the officer with the red flag. There's another officer on my left blowed up his whistle like there's no tomorrow. Almost reached 150 decibel. Ok, now I know what's happening...

Another officer approached as I opened the window. Hey, dummy. You went straight into our trap. Muahaha! We caught you driving at 106km/h. The speed limit here is 80km/h, just so you know lah. yada yada yada~ Gotcha! (I've changed the dialogue. He actually spoke like A. Galak, and in Malay, u know, like traffic police~ huhu). So, my first ticket other than parking tickets and movie tickets and bus tickets. 80km/h, can u guys believe that? For God's sake, it's a three-lane road! It wasn't even busy at the time. And you guys want me to drive below 80? Who the hell's in charge on this speed-limit thing anyway? Tak logik langsung!~ The highway's speed limit of 110km/h is also unfashionably irrelevant. Or you guys are so broke that u need to 'legally' con my money? I don't mind getting summons or tickets for things that are truly logically wrong that I did. But this one, my mind simply couldn't comprehend~

Arghhh~ can't stand being led by incompetents. I'd be glad to follow logical and relevant rules. But they made too many stupid and ridiculous rules for us to abide by~ Gotta get myself up there someday. So many stupid rules that need to be amended and abolished!

Tiga Skandal Hidupku

Kami pernah berkawan.
Malah
Pernah lebih daripada itu.
Tapi kini tidak lagi berkawan.
Dan tidak mungkin akan kembali lebih.
Namun aku sebenarnya
Ingin kembali berkawan.
Tapi hanya berkawan.
Tidak lebih daripada itu.

***********************************

Kami hanya kawan.
Tidak pernah lebih.
Dan aku pasti
Tidak akan lebih daripada itu.
Tapi kini aku rimas.
Sangat tidak selesa.
Aku bosan aku serabut.
Aku rimas.
Bukan hanya tidak akan lebih.
Malah
Aku tidak ingin lagi berkawan.

***********************************

Kami berkawan.
Masih lagi berkawan.
Namun
Suatu hari nanti.
Aku mungkin ingin lebih daripada itu.
Mungkin.
Suatu hari nanti.

Led By The Incompetents

fcuking government~

kalo aku ckp government aku bengap dan incompetent, ada tak orang yg akan ckp kat aku
"hek eleh, ko tu mcm la terer sgt, ingat senang ke nak jaga satu negara, kalo ko terer sgt gi la ganti Pak Lah jadi PM. Kutuk org je pandai!"...?

Fcuk off, dude. Huh, aku rakyat biasa pun tau Malaysia ni negara pengeluar minyak. Tapi letak harga minyak macam negara pengimport minyak. WTF. You don't have to study in a university to know just that~ Wanita ini juga sokong kenyataan aku ni. You think we're just a bunch of brainless apes or what? Doing this n that n expect we would hear and obey without giving it a slightest thought. What kinda government could think such lowly of their citizens?!

Bangganya aku dgn petronas~ pandai diorang carigali minyak~ dpt untung berbilion~ keep digging, guys~ (^_^) WTF. Rakyat Malaysia sniri pun tak dapat merasa hasil minyak Malaysia. Haha, laughable indeed. Apa? KLCC? Sepang? KLIA? Bgs la smua tu. Bleh bangga sket. Tapi semua rakyat dapat rasa, dapat sentuh ke smua tu? Ada yg tak penah jejak kaki pun kat tempat2 tu. Buat jalan? Baiknya~ Tol berpuluh ringgit! Ni minyak naik, harga barang-barang konfem naik. Bil letrik pun nak naik lagi. This is outrageous. Totally ridiculous!

Incompetent leaders! Of course we can't satisfy everyone, but why didn't they choose to satisfy the poor and the middle-class citizens?! Why is it always the rich, the richer and the richest? The poor only get to be proud of being Malaysian to have all those concretes which are practically useless to them. Other than that?? Where are their shares as Malaysians? They're not getting more money yet the prices of everything keep hiking. Harga thumbdrive je makin menurun~ yeah, laugh all u want~ But I am not laughing.

There are so many things I wanna say, but lets just end it here before I start swearing more~

(nukilan ini asalnya untuk ruangan komenan di blog dammit, tapi bila dah start tulis tu jadi panjang plak... So it end up in my own blog as another entry.)

Candak Sutong 2008

I was getting busy again...err...lazy, actually. Huhu. Sorry for the late update :p

Hoho, went squid jigging (mencandat sotong) again! Now let me recall...when was it eay...Oh, 17th of May! That makes it the 5th squid jigging expedition in my ever-wonderful life! Okay...ever-wonderful is a little too much... :p

Anyway, the different thing about this year's expedition is, I was the project manager. Yeah, I was the host this year~ (^_^)v The first 3 was free, everything was arranged by a friend's father. The 4th trip, last year, I went with a friend, along with his friends, and I gotta pay rm 50~ dah la tengah sengkek time tu...we went jigging in September. Haha, pretty stupid ey? :p The waves were very strong and we all got sea sick~ I threw up a couple of times too. Huhu. But we did bring back some squids. I only got one though :p

Well, that was last year. Let's forget about it. Coz this year rocks, baby!

I arranged the trip for 8 friends, with my eldest brother and my elder sister tagging along. We departed from the jetty on a fisherman's boat at about 6pm Saturday. Arrived at the jigging spot at around 7pm, a friend of mine immediately got the first catch of that day. But that's the only she got on the whole trip. She got sea sick a few minutes later and never got back on her feet again. Haha :p

The boat owner was kind enough to change spots a couple of times, looking for the 'lubuk'. At our 3rd stop, we waited for half an hour before my sister got the first catch. Then it turned to be a real 'lubuk' yeyy! (^_^) After 12am midnight, only the fantastic four were still up and mighty - me, Pojan, my brother and my sister. The rest got sea sick and some were just sleepy~ huhu. We were up till 5am when the boat started to head back to the shore.

And you know what? We brought back some 40-50 kilos of sweet, juicy squids! Most of them are about half a meter long. I jigged up 22 squids myself! Pretty impressive ey?~ coz I never got more than 10 before. Hohoho.

My mom gave out some to neighbours and friends. And the rest? This is the best part! On Sunday night, we had sotong bakar, sotong goreng celup tepung, tom yam sotong and sotong sumbat ala Kelantan. We cooked and ate till 1 am~ Everybody was stuffed up real good. Muahaha. You can really taste the sweetness of fresh squids~ The next day, we had sotong masak sambal and sotong masak kunyit for lunch. I know, squids and squids again. But unlike chicken or beef, u'll never grow tired of eating squids (^_^)

I gave out lotsa tips last year, here's some additional tips for squid jigging:

I don't know why they call it squid jigging, but here's how you squid jigging. Throw the jig into the sea till it reaches the bottom sea bed. Then pull it up about 1 feet. Then u start gettin' jiggy with it by snatch n' release, snatch n' release, snatch n' release...until it feels a little heavier than before. Senang giler~ huhu

Oh, you might wanna wear a dark shirt, coz those squids would be squirting some serious black inks! Make sure u don't direct the squid's head towards yourself or your friends, unless u wanna get ur face painted black~ huhu :p

New Shirts! Lalalalalaaa~ (^_^)

Ahhh~ it's good to have money~ and it's even better when you have the time to spend it :) I just rewarded myself with two brand new G2000 shirts! Bought them at the newly opened Parkson East Coast Mall. One is THIS colour, and the other one is THIS colour. Bright eay? Yepyep! I've always wanted a cool, soft-bright colored shirt (^_^)

All I got in this metal wardrobe of IIUM are plain black (bought during matric), striped grey (given by sis), striped black (bought for AGD 2006), navy blue (given by mom), purple (given by mom) and maroon (given by sis). Oh, don't forget THE orange shirt! It's a very beautiful shirt, picked by 4 picky young ladies :p Haha. Thanks, girls! but I only wore it once or twice :p How should I say this...ermm...it's too 'casanovic' for me to wear it on normal days. And there hasn't been any,ehem ehem, prestigous occasion since, ehem ehem, KOS Gala Nite (AGD 2007). Lagipun malas nak iron lah~ :p I like the purple one, but it needs heavy ironing, so I seldom wear it :p God, I'm soo terrible at ironing~ So terrible that I'm hating it. :(

Having bought those 2 shirts makes me feel really really jubilant, extremely happy, sooo blissful~ (^_^) It wasn't planned. We just went there to grab some KFC, then later we had a lil tour in the new mall, went into Parkson, and "Oh, Why don't I buy a shirt?...Yeah...Why don't I...hmmm...no reason not to...I've always wanted a light colored shirt...Yeyy!"

Didn't look around much for shirts, just a lil here and a lil there. Then I went straight for G2000. They always have great selections - Simple-yet-stylish designs, vibrant colors, and nice cuts. Just what I needed. And they sure lived up to my expectation ;)

I suck at buying shirts. As far as I remember, the only shirt I bought by myself was the plain black one. Haha. And no more image consultants a.k.a 4 picky young ladies to help me this time. Those guys I ate KFC with, didn't really help much :p I was basically on my own this time, and the shirt wasn't plain black... (I know, this is not your worst case scenario, but mind u, it was to me, really~ :p)

Well...it wasn't that bad, coz I've chosen the shirt I want, so the problem then was just the size. Even so, I kept asking the salesgirl each time I tried a shirt on. Is it OK? Do I look good? Does it fit me? Should I try a smaller size? Bigger size? What do you think, S or M? This one is better or the previous was? and I kept on thinking with my clueless mind~ huhu. I know it's her job, but it's pretty nice of her to help. Ok, MJ23 (one of the friends I ate KFC with) helped a bit too, by being there waiting patiently. Huhu.

When I was about to pay for the shirt, she said, "There's a promotion. If you buy 2, it's RM149." One is RM89...*Congak2 dlm kepala jap* I looked at MJ23. A few words (less than 10 words) of encouragement from him (which I already forget now), then I go, "OK, let's pick another one!" Seeing me clueless again, the salesgirl suggested, "How bout THIS? It looks young and lively." My answer? "OK." (^_^)

I haven't felt sooo contented for a very long time. Have you ever do jigsaw puzzle? The 1000, or 5000 pieces. Once in a while there would be one piece that is so hard to find. Then you just ignored it and continue with others. After a while, u suddenly decided to search for it again, and there it is, right under your nose. Not just that. After u fit it in, it gives you a complete picture of something. A complete mesmerizing maple tree, for example. (^_^)

I've wanted the shirt for years. And now I have 2! Now that I have those two in my wardrobe, my wardrobe seems whole lot lively and fresh (^_^) And guess what, they are WRINKLE-FREE!!~ (^_^)(^_^)(^_^)

Footnote: Next, a pair of black WRINKLE-FREE pants! (^_^)

The Scandal Behind The Scandals, And An Appreciation

Haaahhh~ what a busy week~ nothing much to do, but I just felt busy. Do some part time job (data entry, and it's killing me~), went home every weekend, lepak at computer lab. I watched lotsa movie too lately. Gridiron Gang, Hoodwinked, I Know Who Killed Me, Jumper, Juno, Kickin' It Old School, Lawyer Lawyer, Layer Cake, Let's Go To Prison, Lucky You, Open Season, Surfs Up, The Covenant, The Brave One, The Condemned, and Bee Movie. Before all that, I had The Mist, 27 Dresses, and a Malay movie Anak Halal. There's also a documentary - Zeitgeist, you gotta watch this one! Then you'll know why the wars shall never ceased. I really love Juno. Nice movie, simple, lovely songs, good script, dan main character dia yang sempoi~ (^_^)

I haven't updated in quite a while, have I? Well, I did wrote a couple of things, but don't feel like posting 'em. I bloghopped a little. Seems like more youngsters are into blogging these days. A warm welcome to them (^_^) Some of my friends are still actively blogging, keep it up, guys! But sadly *sigh*, some blogs are all dusty and full of spider webs~ come back and tidy it up!! :p

All the hoppings made me reminisced back into the old days, a couple of years ago, when I started blogging. Thanks to Pojan, he helped a lot in those early days. And of course, earlier bloggers such as Arshana and Ati, thanks. Luckily I have basic HTML. The template had been changed 3 times if I'm not mistaken. I think I'm gonna stick with this one for another year or more. It's pretty, isn't it?

I never had a diary. I was afraid somebody would read my diary. Haha, funny, I know. Macam la blog ni takde orang boleh baca :p and I have a very bad handwriting. Plus, it's hard to keep a diary. So, I thought it might be nice to have a blog as a diary.

I started with Reaching Stardom as my very first entry. That was in August 2005!!! Wow, another 3 months and Scandals in Lutfi's Life will celebrate its 3rd birthday!~ Haha. Anyway, I didn't intend to reach stardom, it's just that it sounded good as the title of my very first post :p

I am writing not for my self-satisfaction, not for expressing my feelings to the world. Neither for glory, nor for the fame. It's good if I get paid though...huhu. I am purely writing a diary of my life, and I am writing this diary especially for her to read. But of course you guys can read it too. Make yourself at home! ;) Huhu. I remember dedicating this blog to her in my first entry. Oh, if you're wondering who she is, she's my future wife (^_^) God knows if she's already reading this~

I'm a cold guy. Well, I used to be a really cold guy. Yeah, cold, not cool~ haha. My life is kinda like a purple color, a lil mysterious. I didn't really talk much. That's why, another reason for me blogging is to share something with my close friends.

Yeah, back then I expected no more than 10 people to be reading my blog. Just some close friends. I didn't go out there and advertise my blog wherever I go. I did, however, post a bulletin once in friendster. But that's it and that was a very long time ago, it didn't help anyway~ I certainly didn't expect many comments on my entries either. But it's good that my friends were supportive. Thank you.

Now, I don't know how many people are reading my blog, but it certainly is more than 10. Some said,"Hey, I read your blog." Then I go,"Huh???" Huhu. Got a lot of comments sometimes, even anonymous comments. I dunno, some may be bored with what I wrote in this blog. That's OK. But I'm glad to know that some readers enjoyed reading 'em. Some said they were inspired by what I wrote. I thought they were kidding at first, then they started telling me how I inspired them. Then I said to myself, "God, I really did that?" But then, it's all from Him, isn't it? (^_^) Recently, someone said "Oh, Lutfi has a soft side after all...". Ampeh~ Muahaha :p

This is my diary, so most of what's written here are from myself. I may be inspired by something else, but the words are my own. I use English, so that I can improve my 2nd language, bit by bit. I suck at describing situations in English, but I feel more comfortable conveying my feelings and thoughts through it. I rarely quote from other people, you know, like from Shakespeare or Gandhi or the president of Guatemala etc. 99.5% of what I wrote are truly mine. I always try to put feelings in my writings, coz I want her to enjoy reading this later. And I usually talk about myself, and my thoughts. After all, it's a diary, isn't it?

To all the ladies, and to all the gentlemen. Thank you for spending your precious time visiting this not-stupendous blog of mine, and thank you for all the comments you laid to me. Even though it's a diary, it's good to have you guys around to share it with. I truly appreciate.

The Girl Who Lost The Bet

If u have read 'A Bicycle To Remember', there was this 'budak kecik' who dared me to cycle from KT to Kuantan. Yeah, so kecik (i mean, short) that I just have to look down on her. Huhu :p Oh, I'm not gonna reveal her name here. Let's just call her 'The Girl Who Lost The Bet'. In short, TGWLTB, but please read it in full, otherwise it wouldn't sound dramatic. (Show a lil sympahthy for her, will ya? :p) Anyway, if the lil tortoise is reading this and decides to come out of the shell and publicize herself, be my guest. No harm done on my side. Huhu. As the story goes, TGWLTB said I could ask for ANYTHING, it would be her treat, and she would HEAR & OBEY. I repeat, HEAR & OBEY~ lalalalalaaa~ (^_^)v

My alter ego (the evil one :p) refuse to just let her plainly buy me a plain lunch or dinner. He wanted some entertainment. Tsk tsk, he is sooo evil~ He said to me,"We must use this rare opportunity to make her suffer and bring her misery. Muahahaha!" Sooo evil~ tsk tsk tsk...Then I got influenced by the evil me, "Yeah, my life is a little plain, I should add up some spices and colors~" So I agreed with him. But since I'm a not-so-evil person, I tried to make a win-win situation, where she would also benefit from it. Til now, me n my evil alter ego came up with more than 10 conditions so far for TGWLTB to fulfill on D-Day she's treating us. Errr...me :p

1ST CONDITION: TGWLTB must be happy on D-Day. [ Huhu, I won't be enjoying my meal if there's a sad person sitting in front of me, will I? ]

2ND CONDITION: TGWLTB must be healthy on D-Day. [ Same explanation as previous, I'd just lose my appetite~ and I don't wanna be sending her to a hospital. Haha ]

3RD CONDITION: TGWLTB must be confident of herself on D-Day. [ This has something to do with her character, yeah she lacks self-confidence sometimes. But it also has something to do with the 10th condition! ]

4TH CONDITION: TGWLTB had moved on from any of her sad past, experience or crush, things related to love and relationship. [ Well, since she had a long fruitless crush and a couple of bad experience with love and relationship, I might as well help her move on. ]

5TH CONDITION: The length of TGWLTB's hair must be below her chest. [ Simply want her to suffer and make her life more difficult, but in a way, making her try something new. She said the longest she kept so far was up to her shoulder. I'm not gonna see it anyway, wouldn't know if she cheats later :p ]

6TH CONDITION: The treat will neither be in Terengganu nor Kelantan, unless stated otherwise by Lutfi Lukman. [ No good+EXPENSIVE+exotic place to eat lah at these 2 states~ Lagipun suasana macam kureng je~ I don't know much bout other states though. Most probably D-Day would be in KL ]

7TH CONDITION: TGWLTB must write down all the conditions on a beautiful piece of paper and show it to Lutfi Lukman on D-Day. [ Gotta make sure she remembers all the conditions, rite? ]

8TH CONDITION: The bet will be void if TGWLTB got herself a boyfriend, but it will be back on if they break up before the due date. [ Do you want to see me in the newspaper? Got chopped up by a mad boyfriend or something? Huhu :p ]

9TH CONDITION: TGWLTB must weigh 45kg on D-Day. [ I'm a good person. I'm angelic :p I'm helping her to lose some weight. She said she wanted to lose some weight, so I'm just helping out a bit. And at the same time see her suffer and make her life more difficult! Less yummy food for her and she needs to exercise more~ Hahaha ]

10TH CONDITION: TGWLTB must wear a skirt on D-Day. [ Err..she wore a skirt once, and she was wondering whether it looked good, whether she should buy one and wear it more often yada yada yada~ Oh, that one belongs to her friend :p Since she lacks confidence of wearing one again, I'm here to save D-Day. Bet she'd feel awkward. Haha. Well, her pain is my gain~ ]

11TH CONDITION: On D-Day, TGWLTB must only use 'saya' when addressing herself, and 'awak' when addressing Lutfi Lukman. If she mistakenly use 'aku' when addressing herself, or 'ko' when addressing Lutfi Lukman, Lutfi Lukman is allowed to knock her head without any retaliation whatsoever. [ Just consider this as an excuse for me to knock her head for free~ (^_^) lalalalalaa~ But don't you think girls shouldn't use 'aku' and 'ko'? ]

......
...... [ There may be more coming. My evil alter ego is working on it. Tsk tsk...He is soo evil~ ]
......

FINAL CONDITION: The time limit for TGWLTB to fulfill all the conditions and treat Lutfi Lukman on D-Day is 31st of December 2010, or before one of us get married, whichever is sooner. [ We gotta have a time limit, rite? I don't wanna wait till I'm in my 50's~ haha. Oh, and may I remind you that you don't want to see me in the newspaper, got chopped by a mad husband~ Huhu :p ]

It's not that difficult, isn't it? And not to mention, FAIR. Huhu :P . The difficult ones are only no. 4, 5, 9, 10 & 11. But she's already complaining and sighing~ Hey, put the blame on the Evil Lutfi Lukman. It's not my fault. The Real (and Nice) Lutfi Lukman simply wanna make another memory (^_^)v

When will the D-Day be? It is up to The Girl Who Lost The Bet now (^_^)

The Breakup Songs : Final Verse

I don't think breaking up is easy, but Alhamdulillah, I went through it without too much difficulties. What happened between me and her, I don't think any normal guy could take it. I would really like to get it off my chest, but I couldn't do it. Not now. One fine day, perhaps, in the arms of my lovely wife :) Oh, in addition to what had been going on between me and her, I was the president of a society back then. (Lepas abis meeting abang call la balik. Tapi tak paham-paham. And the phone kept vibrating...). Exam was around the corner too when we broke up. Crazy, huh? I tried not to let my tragedy affect others though. I think I managed just that.

Why my instinct told me to keep my distance before kinda make sense now. If this happened when I was younger, perhaps I might not be able to handle it. Definitely not~

And it's not at all the end of the world. More like a new beginning to me. Now I am more certain with what I want in life, where I want to be and who I want to be with. I can restructure my life for my best interest, without considering my other half. You can also look at it as 'my second chance'. Perhaps, my 1st choice wasn't the best for me. (and of coz, I might not be the best choice for her too). So, both of us are allowed to choose again. Pray that I'll marry someone in 2010! (^_^)v

Before I was in the relationship, I've always wondered how it would feel to break up with the one you love. We got so many songs telling you about love and heartbreak, picking up and dropping off, the sweet and the bitter feelings. I wonder if I would enjoy these songs better after I broke up with someone. I got my answer now. Yes! Haha :p However, when I was with her, I hope it would never happen. Truth hurts, but I accepted it with an open heart.

For those who have been brokenhearted, I dedicate these songs to me, and you too. Be sad, but not for too long. Get back on your feet. Chin up, cheer up. Stand tall. Head held high. Wipe off the traces of your weeping. Take a deep breath. Open your eyes. Bismillaahi Ar-rahmaani Ar-rahiim. Continue walking. You are not yet at your final destination ;)

Trying not to break
But i'm so tired of this deceit
Every time I try to make myself
Get back up on my feet
All I ever think about is this
All the tiring time between
And how
Trying to put my trust in you
Just takes so much out of me

-Linkin Park, From The Inside-


You were everything I wanted
You were everything a girl could be
Then you left me brokenhearted
Now you don't mean a thing to me
-----------
Thought that everything was perfect
Isn't that how it's supposed to be?
Thought you thought that I was worth it
Now I think a little differently

-Plain White T's, Hate (Really Don't Like You)-


You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

-Daughtry, Over You-


I'm holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground
And I'm hearing what you say
But I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down
But wait...
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around and say..

That it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

-One Republic feat. Timbaland, Apologize-


Sudah usai sudah
Cerita engkau dan aku
Ku anggap sebagai bingkisan kalbu

-Kangen Band, Tentang Aku, Kau dan Dia-

The Breakup Songs : Chorus

Yes, be aware that these are only MY words, from MY point of view, and I am a MALE human. Perhaps, I'm in the wrong. Well..I don't give a damn anyway :p Girls, if you don't like what I'm about to say, skip this entry. But I think this piece is good for you. So you better read it. Huhu.

Some advices.

• Girls, be confident with yourself. You're great, always great. He's in love with you~ Don't give a damn about those prickly little voices in your head. You're wonderful to him. He sincerely loves you! Don't doubt yourself. But of course, if you love him as much, improve yourself bit by bit. No rush ;) Try not to degrade though :p

• Girls, sulking is good. Big sulk once in a while is great. But big sulk once a month? That's pretty tiring. Once a week...Err..are you a black widow? Or do you want to be a widow? You'll kill him!~

• Girls, I know you're in love. A love soo deep you can't even see the bottom. But you don't have to text him every minute and call him everyday. There's a possibility that he would pity you, and then he'd be the one calling you instead (T_T) Lagi haru kalau tiap-tiap hari dating~ If he's filthy rich, don't give a damn lah~ huhu.

• Girls, trust him (Unless...he's a playboy :p). Love is a subtle thing, it's a conscience. Trust that he loves you, even when he's far away, even when you're not in touch for a month. Have a little jealousy. But mind you, ONLY A LITTLE. Never lose your self-confidence. And guys, trust her as much.

• Girls, never interfere with his business. I mean, real business, money-related business. Unless if you're really good at it lah. Especially when you include emotions and feelings in his business. Do you think he's heartless? Shame on you.

• Girls, be the great woman behind the great man. Even better, be the great woman beside the great man. Yes, you are the other half of him. You're suppose to make him complete, so that he can be a better person, a great person. Take him to the top, not drag him down to the bottom of the sea~ Same goes to the guys, be the great man of your wonderful woman ;)

• Girls, never try to test him. Never try to test him in the name of love. He usually knows it when you're testing him. Sometimes, he plays according to your rule. You happy. But keep in mind that he can always deliberately turns the tables around. End result? You not happy, huhu. Right back at you. Padan muka nak test sangat~ But seriously, don't test your partner. Hina dan keji.

• Girls, never ever make him do something in the name of love. If it's only for jokes or simply for fun, that's ok. But if it's for something serious, that's very low~it's like you're selling your love, girl. Again, hina dan keji.

• Girls, you're not the only one with problems, sadness, headache, heartache or whatever. He has feelings too. He needs to lean on to you as well. He needs to rest on your shoulder once in a while, and cry in your chest if he has to, embraced by your soft arms. Well, not as often as you girls do :p Still, consider that, k.

• Girls, take good care of yourself. Take good care of yourself. Take good care of yourself. Take good care of yourself. Take good care of yourself. You're living in a big bad world. Please, take good care of yourself.

• And Girls, as Che'Nelle (was it her?) said in Hitz.fm, I didn't remember the exact thing she said, but it's about being happy with yourself. Don't be sad and expect your other half to come and make you happy. Be happy, and when he comes into your life, he will add more happiness into your life. Double happy (^_^)
  

What I said above doesn't work for a jerk. A stupid jerk simply deserves a kick in the balls. Leave him! You deserve a better guy! That's all I have for now. Girls, no grudge on me, k. Peace (^_^)v Oh, anybody wanna add some more? Be my guest!