Being alone isn't all that dreadful. I think I kinda enjoy the loneliness. It's quiet. I'm free, independent. I can do whatever I want, when I feel like doing it. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy being with my family and friends. I am absolutely happy spending time with them, feels good everytime they talk to me, relief for every smile they gave to me, glad for all the arguments we had. But there were times, and there will always be times, when they were not around, and there i was, left alone. I'm enjoying it nevertheless.Usually when I saw people eating alone, I pity them, thinking that they have no family and friends. It didn't occur to me that he (or she) was having his peaceful moment, sipping his cup of coffee. I feel guilty for ever having those thoughts.
Alone in my room, alone at the cafe, alone in the car, alone in the lab. Eating alone, walking alone, driving alone, working alone, studying alone, sleeping alone, watching movies alone, having fun by myself. They are not all that bad. It could be as enjoyable as doing it with your friends. But you can't view or judge it from the same perspective. Ice cream and pudding. They are different, but both are yummy, aren't they?
To me, being alone isn't loneliness. Even when i'm all alone, I have em all in my heart, my family, my friends. So, basically I'm not really by myself, and I don't actually feel lonely at all. What exactly is it, then? My sister gave a nice phrase for it. It's called having my own sweet moments :)
For many reasons, I'm looking forward to do my masters degree abroad, preferably in europe. One of them is to have lots of my own sweet moments! Living independently, trying to view life from my own personal perspective. Taking care of myself, by my own two hands. Making decisions, and execute them by myself. Grab my keys and take a walk whenever I feel like it. I could just sit down in a cafe, sipping my cup of coffee, reading my newspaper, and care about nothing else but me and my coffee. My own sweet moments :)
