The clock is ticking, my heart is jumping. Of excitement, not anxiety. All in all, I'm pretty much at ease. Well, it's not like I'm going to give an oral presentation on biodegradation of some industrial waste in front of intimidating professors. I'm marrying the woman that I love, being ecstatic is most fitting! Right?
It didn't come by easily. At the early stage of our relationship, we faced some hardships. Both of us had someone. She was labeled as a boyfriend-stealer. And me, girlfriend-stealer.
All is fair in love and war. A famous quote. But it didn't justify our decision to leave and start anew. When you go to war, you bound to destroy other people's possessions. Doesn't sounds fair to me. In terms of love between humans, there's no issue whether it's fair or not. Nobody owns anybody. I am nobody's possession. And her? She's not married yet. At most she is her parents' possession. A so-called friend of mine even suggested I should go and ask her ex's permission to steal his girlfriend, with a few punches on my face as payment. Seriously?! Well, there were no fist-fighting happening, only a lot of threatening in the first few months. That's another story some other day.
Some said what we did was wrong. Some said there will be karma. Something like "She'll do the same to you", or "She might leave you like how she left her ex". I didn't really care. Correction, I never cared. We had our situations. We thought things through thoroughly before coming up with our decisions. Not a slightest regret. Not ever, insya Allah. For those who listened to one-sided story and condemned us for it, may Allah bless you. I hold no grudge.
Anyway, many did not understand. I wasn't bothered by consequences or karma or any sort of uncertain future. Because nobody knows about what's in stored for me in the future. Hell they didn't even sure about their own future. It's just that people like to believe so. And people like to gossip. What I believe in is different than their beliefs. I'm sure she's the best lover for me. But I don't mind if in the end things went wrong in the future. I don't mind if she's fated to leave me one day. It'll be very very sad, but I have to accept. It's beyond my control. All I know is, I only have absolute control over myself. Therefore, my part is to love her and I'll keep doing so as best as I can. Loving me is her part, and I can't force her to do it though I'm sure she'll also give her all. Until the end of everything, whether by death or by any circumstances, I will treasure her everyday.
Of course, most friends and family supported us being together. Countless times I've heard that we look great together, there's chemistry between us, our faces look very much alike and thus our fate is strong. Feels good to believe so. Nevertheless, you can't just count on looks alone. What makes things real is effort.
