Lutfi felt blessed

Everytime I have difficulties...Instead of giving up hope, I tried my best to overcome it...though in the end I wasn't sure whether it will turn out the way I want it to be.

Maybe my life is influenced a lot by the spirit of anime. Ya know, things like never give up, importance of nakama **it means friends or comrades** etc. Watching anime does affect my life in a good way and I'm blessed with various sources of anime. But this is not the issue today.

What I meant by blessed is the way how things always turn out to be better than expected. The situation like u thought u're dead meat but then it turns out to be ok, fine, if not better. When I'm in a critical situation, I managed to overcome it.

I believe it's not merely due to my sole effort.

Sometimes, when things can't be helped anymore and I just tawakkal and let it be, it ended up fine.

So what could be the reason?

I believe it was a blessing from Allah s.w.t.

When we succumb ourselves to Him, pray to Him after we've tried our best or when we have no other way out, things usually goes smoother and better. I'm not saying that i'm a very Islamic person. Solat sunat takde laa buat sangat pun. Tapi solat wajib mmg laa tak tinggal.

One more thing that makes me feel blessed is that maybe some people out there are also praying for my sake. My mom, siblings, my frens, my secret admirer **maybe jangnara...wahaha...saje je perasan** ...So, thank you all for helping in making my life easier... waaa...terharu...

Lutfi Got A Gift

If u were given a gift, then u should really take good care of it, right? Although at the beginning u don't really want it. Although the gift might be a burden to u. It is still a gift. Lemme give a simple example. I don't hate cats. But I don't love them as much as I wanna keep one. Then one day, as I open the door, there's a cat in a beautiful box in front of my door. I dun even know who put it there. I have enuff problems with my studies, my work and my other commitments. What should I do? Throw it away? Of course not. Even though I never intend to have a cat in the house, I can't just throw it away. Is it coz of love? Is it coz of responsibility? Or is it just another unexplainable human nature? So, in the end, I'll just take care of that cat, sincerely. It's no use keeping that cat with regrets and without sincerity. Why? Coz if there's no sincerity, there'll be no love, and I might hurt that cat for no apparent reason. So, I accept the cat as a member of the house. I think the cat might lighten up my life. Of course there will be ups and downs. The cat might even pee on the sofa. So there will be times when I have to be wise and serious in teaching the cat. Although I dun like them to come out, but I guess the genes that code for wise and seriousness will be expressed more often from now on. But still, I'll try to have fun with this new pet of mine.

Blurry Blurry Lutfi

I thought I had something to write about...but after I opened my blog...I don't know what to write...so I end up with this pointless entry. So...hmmm....jap...pikir...ettooo...ermmm...ok...let's find the good parts of this tragedy, i mean this blurry tragedy. The moral of this tragedy is that u might get the Alzheimer disease anytime, so hold on to your precious memories...haha...just kiddn'...However, it's true dat we never know what u got till it's gone...but if u lost your memory, u won't even know dat something is missing...This leads us to our lives itself...Life is short...So, don' take for granted on all the things happened to you. Whatever you are going through...whether it's good or bad...I dare to say dat it's a good thing. I hold on to my faith that Allah isn't cruel. Therefore, whatever happens to me, sad or happy, good or bad, I'll accept it as my precious memories. But of course, we need to put an effort to improve our lives...

When Lutfi got Bored

Sometimes...don't u think your life is too plain?...i do...sometimes...tido bangun pegi kelas makan ngadap com buat assignment buat report main game tengok anime...it's like a cycle...huh?...it is a cycle...nothing big happen...just enuff for me to be considered as a living organism. This is too plain...i'm getting bored day by day...

Sepatutnya ada perkara-perkara yang menarik berlaku...ade bangunan uia terbakar ke, bas yg aku naik accident ke...sesat dalam hutan ke...bergaduh ngan orang ke...satu kolej kena kacau ngan hantu ke...I dun wish for anybody to get hurt or die...but it would be more interesting if accidents occured once in a while. Now i sounded like a psycho :P ... Tapi takleh ah slalu sgt, nanti hilang harapan nak idup plak...and lLike i said earlier, i wish for accidents or incidents or mishaps or whatever u may call it, but i hope nobody would get hurt or die in it, even myself, i dun mind having a scratch or bleeding :p ... blood can be reproduced by the body...no worries..haha.. :p

We need some excitements in our life once in a while. Then you'll feel really alive. Some sez you need love to make you feel alive. But i'd say even love could be plain sometimes. Then you'll end up looking for excitement again...new love? haha...I'll leave it to the people in love. I'm not in that stage yet.

Kadang-kadang...when i'm on the bus, i wish bas tu terbalik or something...crazy isn't it...On a motorcycle, I wonder what'll happen if i jump from the motorcycle...still don't have the gut to jump though :p ... In a bank...will there be a robbery today?...Last time, I was so damn bored. Then there's this pizza box. I remembered having matches in my drawer. I took it out and burn some papers in the box...the fire was small but somehow it seemed beautiful at that time. Then the box itself started to burn...sedar tak sedar there's already a hole underneath it. The best thing is my 'cadar' also got a hole, made by the fire of course. But for some reason i hesitated and just sit there and thinking how beautiful it was...haha...i really was calm at the time. I wonder why. Maybe I was feeling an excitement out of a boring day. Then a friend of mine - Fauzan- got worried ***Arkkk lutfi ang buat apa nie!! ang gila kaa? Padam woii!!*** (b4 dat dia tgh main game so tak peduli sgt aku tgh buat apa..ahakzs!) so I threw the pizza box outside the window...lagipun my mattress would catch fire if i didn't do it...haha...it was quite a memory...don't be too close to me or one day u might get hurt for no reason.

CADAR AKU...muakaka...lubang nie kecik je sebenarnya

Lutfi's inside: Friends..

I wonder what a bestfriend is. I'm certain that i have many good friends. People around me mostly are my good friends, even if sometimes i don't speak much with them, but i do consider them my good friends, regardless of the true meaning of the term 'good friends'. It's an intuition i guess. But what about bestfriends? I don't know how to interpret that term. My intuition can't reach that part. What should a bestfriend do? Be there everytime i need them? However, i do have a few people that i consider as my bestfriends. I wonder why though. What do they have? Don't ask me if u are one of my bestfriends. One thing for sure is they don't have to be physically close to me. They don't have to do anything big for me...so why then? Why don't u ask urself, do u have a bestfren? If you don't, do u feel some pressure inside, trying to come out. But you don't know what the pressure is...is that loneliness?

Lutfi wen:"Ni Hao Ma?"

I'm a biotechnologist-to-be, but i don't know which one is the dominant trait - big eyes or small eyes. Regardless, I have small eyes. That's what people around me said. In other words, they said I'm a chinese, or my dad, or my mom, is a chinese. It's been going on like this since i was a kid. Back then i looked even more chinese than i am now ^_^ Luckily I have malay skin. The malay-called *sawo matang* skin. A bit tanned. Actually I wonder if it's a luck, coz for that reason, some called me "cina kampung" *Haiya!*

Almost all my teachers asked me whether i was a pure malay, whether one of my parents was a chinese. Even on a bus a chinese makcik asked me whether i was a malay or a chinese. As far as i know, I am a pure malay. My parents are malays. My grandma do look like a chinese lol :p But she's a malay.

Latest issue came from my lecturer, Dr. Huzwah.

I was absent on the day when my class had a quiz on tissue culture. So a few days after that, I asked for a replacement quiz. It was fine until that. Then my classmate went to the office and bump into her. She asked him about me. This is how she asked:" Siapa budak muka cina yang belum ambik kuiz tu?" I laughed hysterically when my classmate told me bout this. *tergolek arek*

But truthfully, I don't mind at all being wrongly labeled as a chinese. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that being chinese is better than being a malay or vice versa. It's just that it doesn't matter what my race is. I am who I am. How I look doesn't concern me much. It's what I do that makes me who I really am.

Since i studied in SRJK (C) Chung Hwa Wei Sin, I think it's a privilege having small eyes. Or maybe not. My chinese friends aren't racist though. Even the teachers there were nice people, especially my form teacher. She really was a nice lady. Even cared about my religion more than I did, she scolded me if I skip my Pendidikan Agama. I don't think it's because of my eyes. They were nice to me because they really are nice people. That's what I believe. Haha. Good old days! Kinda miss it. I think i'm gonna pay my teacher a visit during chinese new year next year!

Now, to be able to speak chinese and befriend with chinese, listening to chinese songs - these things make me more chinese...hahaha... and to be frank, I'm more interested in chinese girls than malays.*Korean or japanese would be fine too**jangnara jangnara!* . The best part is my mom bagi greenlight aje...yosha!...haha...Since I don't want to get involved in 'that troublesome world' yet, I'm safe here in UIA..yepyep...only few chinese can be seen here. I wonder why myself...i don't know what part of them interests me :p Ehem ehem, to my chinese frens (girls), don't worry laa, I won't just go and 'kacau' any of you.

Nevertheless, Im still a malay, not to worry. But races doesn't really mean anything to me. I just wanna be a good muslim, and hope that everyone can get along together ^_^

Nicknames in Lutfi's Life

My name is Ahmad Lutfi bin Lukman. You can call me anything you like :) Let me give you some options. I have lots of nickname, given by different sorts of people who I called friends and families. At house, my name is simply 'P', abbreviated from Lutfi. My family members have the shortest form of nicknames. In descending order of age - Na, An, Ju, Ma, K, N, P, G. A bit of both funny and unique nicknames if u asked me. But it does make us sound more like a happy family. Hahaha :D

Then in primary school, my chinese friends called me Ahmad, but sounded more like Amad. Nobody calls me that way now coz I rarely meet my x-primary schoolmates. I made my name tag 3 times. The first one spelled 'Ahmad Lutri' *sounded like a lottery to me...HAha*, The second one spelled 'Ahmad Lufti'. Only until the third one it came out right. My malay friends called me Lutfi or sometimes Lukpi (terengganu's dialect).

From Chinese school, i went into Religous/Arabic school. I got a lot of nicknames here - Lut, Luk *they were not calling by my late father's name, it's just terengganu's version of 'Lut'*, Fi, Luth, Luppi *some even spells it luppiey*. Some still called me Lukpi or by my real name Lutfi.

Now in UIA, it goes even more extreme. Most people calls me Lutfi, but some added more spices in my nicknames. Due to my chinese-look face *i have chinese eyes...haha*, my frens called me FeiHong, Feng, LutFeng. A sarawakian fren of mine, without any hesitation, called me 'Cina'...Haha, I dun really mind though, seriously. He looked more chinese than I do *wakaka*. I've been wrongly labeled as a chinese since I was a kid. I even look more like a chinese back then ^_^ The latest nickname I got is Fueng, given by Hajar Fauzan in his sci-fi love story in his blog http://janganbersedih.blogspot.com .

Well, I dun really mind what u call me as long as they don't mean anything bad. But I won't prefer u calling me Lufti or Lutri. In fact, I really hate it when people call me Lufti...Arghhh!!

Lutfi's Blog

This is a new trial in my life. I don't wanna rush things and blow everything up later on. So, let's take a deep breath and enjoy every word of my entries. Also, I might not be able to update daily.

As the title sounded, Scandals in Lutfi's Life, things are going to be hard on me coz revealing another side of me won't be easy. Ok, that was an exaggeration. I don't know if it's another side of me but heck, i'm going to be as honest as possible. If you want to know me better, this blog is the second option. Even if you don't want to, you can use my blog to waste your time. I won't mind at all :p

Another thing is the aftermath effect of honesty. It might hurt myself as much as it might hurt you guys who are reading these scandals of mine. If I offended you, consider yourself unlucky. Haha, cruelty is the best policy. You might hate me or hate me more because of this blog, or, you might love me or love me more :p ...

P/s: Sorry ati, I forgot to mention your name. Please lend a hand for my blog. Both hands would be better :p

Reaching Stardom

Peace! This is the first time i'm having a real blog. I do blog on friendster before but it's just a so-so blogging experience.

Unexpected things may happen thru this new blog of mine. Wonder if it's gonna bring me good things or would it just be a waste of time. Some people say that u can make money thru blogging. I dunno if it's possible. Hati kecilku berkata 'ya'.

Regardless of that, a very good fren of mine advised me to try everything as long as i'm still alive. So here i am trying this blogging stuff... and I'm dedicating this blog to her...

Hmm...some of my frens have already been experts in blogging...hajar, arshana, mirul, jaja etc...so, yoroshiku onegai shimasu! Silalah beri tunjuk ajar...okay?!