License to Drive, Ticket for Speeding

I spent one whole week in KL + JB. Just got back in IIUM Kuantan last night. Pretty tiring~ But a man has got to work and have fun. Huhu. It's for my research project. We need to take blood samples from pesticde sprayers. Therefore we need to visit some estates and deal with their managers. Tiring, but wasn't so bad. We used the company's Avanza. Each of us got RM 40 daily allowance. We could claim for mileage and tolls. Kinda like going to KL for free~ huhu. Then 2 days ago my boss asked me n MJ23 to represent him to visit a practical student in JB. Well, another cuti-cuti Malaysia for us! We didn't get daily allowance, but getting the accomodation fee was good enough! lalalalalaa~ (^_^)

So, I've been driving and going places all week. Based at Taman Melati, we went to Lembah Beringin, Subang (3 times), Sg. Buloh, Petaling Jaya, Putrajaya, Johor Bharu, Gombak, and of coz, back to Kuantan terchenta.

I've been driving for about 6 years. I got my license to drive after SPM, when I was 18. I love driving! Especially if it's a good car and the radio works fine. What's a car without a radio, huh~ huhu. I'm not from a rich family. So far the best car I've driven was my sister's Satria Neo. Damn, that felt really good :D

My siblings (except my lil sis) are all racers. Ok, that's a bit stretching it. Hehe. But we really like to drive fast. Not like fast and furious, just faster than average drivers :p How fast can a proton get anyway~ I have 5 brothers, the craziest one was the fourth. My Kak Long, she's wicked too. Nevertheless, we don't do reckless driving. All of us drive safely (^_^)v

Throughout these 6 years of driving, never have I got into any accident. Told ya, I drive safely ;) And the traffic officer was never kind enough to give me any ticket for speeding or for breaking any rules and regulations on the road, until last monday. Darn it~ I was driving the company's Avanza on MRR2 Kepong when suddenly there's a road block ahead. The officer let the car in front of me passed. Owh, ok, lalalalalaa~ But then he pointed the red flag at me then shoved the flag (with utmost determination and power) to his right. As for me, I thought the Avanza was too big to go straight, so he wanted me to move a little to the left. Ok, dum da dum da daa~ to the left, to the left~ Naive and innocent, huh? Right after I passed the officer with the red flag. There's another officer on my left blowed up his whistle like there's no tomorrow. Almost reached 150 decibel. Ok, now I know what's happening...

Another officer approached as I opened the window. Hey, dummy. You went straight into our trap. Muahaha! We caught you driving at 106km/h. The speed limit here is 80km/h, just so you know lah. yada yada yada~ Gotcha! (I've changed the dialogue. He actually spoke like A. Galak, and in Malay, u know, like traffic police~ huhu). So, my first ticket other than parking tickets and movie tickets and bus tickets. 80km/h, can u guys believe that? For God's sake, it's a three-lane road! It wasn't even busy at the time. And you guys want me to drive below 80? Who the hell's in charge on this speed-limit thing anyway? Tak logik langsung!~ The highway's speed limit of 110km/h is also unfashionably irrelevant. Or you guys are so broke that u need to 'legally' con my money? I don't mind getting summons or tickets for things that are truly logically wrong that I did. But this one, my mind simply couldn't comprehend~

Arghhh~ can't stand being led by incompetents. I'd be glad to follow logical and relevant rules. But they made too many stupid and ridiculous rules for us to abide by~ Gotta get myself up there someday. So many stupid rules that need to be amended and abolished!

Tiga Skandal Hidupku

Kami pernah berkawan.
Malah
Pernah lebih daripada itu.
Tapi kini tidak lagi berkawan.
Dan tidak mungkin akan kembali lebih.
Namun aku sebenarnya
Ingin kembali berkawan.
Tapi hanya berkawan.
Tidak lebih daripada itu.

***********************************

Kami hanya kawan.
Tidak pernah lebih.
Dan aku pasti
Tidak akan lebih daripada itu.
Tapi kini aku rimas.
Sangat tidak selesa.
Aku bosan aku serabut.
Aku rimas.
Bukan hanya tidak akan lebih.
Malah
Aku tidak ingin lagi berkawan.

***********************************

Kami berkawan.
Masih lagi berkawan.
Namun
Suatu hari nanti.
Aku mungkin ingin lebih daripada itu.
Mungkin.
Suatu hari nanti.

Led By The Incompetents

fcuking government~

kalo aku ckp government aku bengap dan incompetent, ada tak orang yg akan ckp kat aku
"hek eleh, ko tu mcm la terer sgt, ingat senang ke nak jaga satu negara, kalo ko terer sgt gi la ganti Pak Lah jadi PM. Kutuk org je pandai!"...?

Fcuk off, dude. Huh, aku rakyat biasa pun tau Malaysia ni negara pengeluar minyak. Tapi letak harga minyak macam negara pengimport minyak. WTF. You don't have to study in a university to know just that~ Wanita ini juga sokong kenyataan aku ni. You think we're just a bunch of brainless apes or what? Doing this n that n expect we would hear and obey without giving it a slightest thought. What kinda government could think such lowly of their citizens?!

Bangganya aku dgn petronas~ pandai diorang carigali minyak~ dpt untung berbilion~ keep digging, guys~ (^_^) WTF. Rakyat Malaysia sniri pun tak dapat merasa hasil minyak Malaysia. Haha, laughable indeed. Apa? KLCC? Sepang? KLIA? Bgs la smua tu. Bleh bangga sket. Tapi semua rakyat dapat rasa, dapat sentuh ke smua tu? Ada yg tak penah jejak kaki pun kat tempat2 tu. Buat jalan? Baiknya~ Tol berpuluh ringgit! Ni minyak naik, harga barang-barang konfem naik. Bil letrik pun nak naik lagi. This is outrageous. Totally ridiculous!

Incompetent leaders! Of course we can't satisfy everyone, but why didn't they choose to satisfy the poor and the middle-class citizens?! Why is it always the rich, the richer and the richest? The poor only get to be proud of being Malaysian to have all those concretes which are practically useless to them. Other than that?? Where are their shares as Malaysians? They're not getting more money yet the prices of everything keep hiking. Harga thumbdrive je makin menurun~ yeah, laugh all u want~ But I am not laughing.

There are so many things I wanna say, but lets just end it here before I start swearing more~

(nukilan ini asalnya untuk ruangan komenan di blog dammit, tapi bila dah start tulis tu jadi panjang plak... So it end up in my own blog as another entry.)

Candak Sutong 2008

I was getting busy again...err...lazy, actually. Huhu. Sorry for the late update :p

Hoho, went squid jigging (mencandat sotong) again! Now let me recall...when was it eay...Oh, 17th of May! That makes it the 5th squid jigging expedition in my ever-wonderful life! Okay...ever-wonderful is a little too much... :p

Anyway, the different thing about this year's expedition is, I was the project manager. Yeah, I was the host this year~ (^_^)v The first 3 was free, everything was arranged by a friend's father. The 4th trip, last year, I went with a friend, along with his friends, and I gotta pay rm 50~ dah la tengah sengkek time tu...we went jigging in September. Haha, pretty stupid ey? :p The waves were very strong and we all got sea sick~ I threw up a couple of times too. Huhu. But we did bring back some squids. I only got one though :p

Well, that was last year. Let's forget about it. Coz this year rocks, baby!

I arranged the trip for 8 friends, with my eldest brother and my elder sister tagging along. We departed from the jetty on a fisherman's boat at about 6pm Saturday. Arrived at the jigging spot at around 7pm, a friend of mine immediately got the first catch of that day. But that's the only she got on the whole trip. She got sea sick a few minutes later and never got back on her feet again. Haha :p

The boat owner was kind enough to change spots a couple of times, looking for the 'lubuk'. At our 3rd stop, we waited for half an hour before my sister got the first catch. Then it turned to be a real 'lubuk' yeyy! (^_^) After 12am midnight, only the fantastic four were still up and mighty - me, Pojan, my brother and my sister. The rest got sea sick and some were just sleepy~ huhu. We were up till 5am when the boat started to head back to the shore.

And you know what? We brought back some 40-50 kilos of sweet, juicy squids! Most of them are about half a meter long. I jigged up 22 squids myself! Pretty impressive ey?~ coz I never got more than 10 before. Hohoho.

My mom gave out some to neighbours and friends. And the rest? This is the best part! On Sunday night, we had sotong bakar, sotong goreng celup tepung, tom yam sotong and sotong sumbat ala Kelantan. We cooked and ate till 1 am~ Everybody was stuffed up real good. Muahaha. You can really taste the sweetness of fresh squids~ The next day, we had sotong masak sambal and sotong masak kunyit for lunch. I know, squids and squids again. But unlike chicken or beef, u'll never grow tired of eating squids (^_^)

I gave out lotsa tips last year, here's some additional tips for squid jigging:

I don't know why they call it squid jigging, but here's how you squid jigging. Throw the jig into the sea till it reaches the bottom sea bed. Then pull it up about 1 feet. Then u start gettin' jiggy with it by snatch n' release, snatch n' release, snatch n' release...until it feels a little heavier than before. Senang giler~ huhu

Oh, you might wanna wear a dark shirt, coz those squids would be squirting some serious black inks! Make sure u don't direct the squid's head towards yourself or your friends, unless u wanna get ur face painted black~ huhu :p

New Shirts! Lalalalalaaa~ (^_^)

Ahhh~ it's good to have money~ and it's even better when you have the time to spend it :) I just rewarded myself with two brand new G2000 shirts! Bought them at the newly opened Parkson East Coast Mall. One is THIS colour, and the other one is THIS colour. Bright eay? Yepyep! I've always wanted a cool, soft-bright colored shirt (^_^)

All I got in this metal wardrobe of IIUM are plain black (bought during matric), striped grey (given by sis), striped black (bought for AGD 2006), navy blue (given by mom), purple (given by mom) and maroon (given by sis). Oh, don't forget THE orange shirt! It's a very beautiful shirt, picked by 4 picky young ladies :p Haha. Thanks, girls! but I only wore it once or twice :p How should I say this...ermm...it's too 'casanovic' for me to wear it on normal days. And there hasn't been any,ehem ehem, prestigous occasion since, ehem ehem, KOS Gala Nite (AGD 2007). Lagipun malas nak iron lah~ :p I like the purple one, but it needs heavy ironing, so I seldom wear it :p God, I'm soo terrible at ironing~ So terrible that I'm hating it. :(

Having bought those 2 shirts makes me feel really really jubilant, extremely happy, sooo blissful~ (^_^) It wasn't planned. We just went there to grab some KFC, then later we had a lil tour in the new mall, went into Parkson, and "Oh, Why don't I buy a shirt?...Yeah...Why don't I...hmmm...no reason not to...I've always wanted a light colored shirt...Yeyy!"

Didn't look around much for shirts, just a lil here and a lil there. Then I went straight for G2000. They always have great selections - Simple-yet-stylish designs, vibrant colors, and nice cuts. Just what I needed. And they sure lived up to my expectation ;)

I suck at buying shirts. As far as I remember, the only shirt I bought by myself was the plain black one. Haha. And no more image consultants a.k.a 4 picky young ladies to help me this time. Those guys I ate KFC with, didn't really help much :p I was basically on my own this time, and the shirt wasn't plain black... (I know, this is not your worst case scenario, but mind u, it was to me, really~ :p)

Well...it wasn't that bad, coz I've chosen the shirt I want, so the problem then was just the size. Even so, I kept asking the salesgirl each time I tried a shirt on. Is it OK? Do I look good? Does it fit me? Should I try a smaller size? Bigger size? What do you think, S or M? This one is better or the previous was? and I kept on thinking with my clueless mind~ huhu. I know it's her job, but it's pretty nice of her to help. Ok, MJ23 (one of the friends I ate KFC with) helped a bit too, by being there waiting patiently. Huhu.

When I was about to pay for the shirt, she said, "There's a promotion. If you buy 2, it's RM149." One is RM89...*Congak2 dlm kepala jap* I looked at MJ23. A few words (less than 10 words) of encouragement from him (which I already forget now), then I go, "OK, let's pick another one!" Seeing me clueless again, the salesgirl suggested, "How bout THIS? It looks young and lively." My answer? "OK." (^_^)

I haven't felt sooo contented for a very long time. Have you ever do jigsaw puzzle? The 1000, or 5000 pieces. Once in a while there would be one piece that is so hard to find. Then you just ignored it and continue with others. After a while, u suddenly decided to search for it again, and there it is, right under your nose. Not just that. After u fit it in, it gives you a complete picture of something. A complete mesmerizing maple tree, for example. (^_^)

I've wanted the shirt for years. And now I have 2! Now that I have those two in my wardrobe, my wardrobe seems whole lot lively and fresh (^_^) And guess what, they are WRINKLE-FREE!!~ (^_^)(^_^)(^_^)

Footnote: Next, a pair of black WRINKLE-FREE pants! (^_^)

The Scandal Behind The Scandals, And An Appreciation

Haaahhh~ what a busy week~ nothing much to do, but I just felt busy. Do some part time job (data entry, and it's killing me~), went home every weekend, lepak at computer lab. I watched lotsa movie too lately. Gridiron Gang, Hoodwinked, I Know Who Killed Me, Jumper, Juno, Kickin' It Old School, Lawyer Lawyer, Layer Cake, Let's Go To Prison, Lucky You, Open Season, Surfs Up, The Covenant, The Brave One, The Condemned, and Bee Movie. Before all that, I had The Mist, 27 Dresses, and a Malay movie Anak Halal. There's also a documentary - Zeitgeist, you gotta watch this one! Then you'll know why the wars shall never ceased. I really love Juno. Nice movie, simple, lovely songs, good script, dan main character dia yang sempoi~ (^_^)

I haven't updated in quite a while, have I? Well, I did wrote a couple of things, but don't feel like posting 'em. I bloghopped a little. Seems like more youngsters are into blogging these days. A warm welcome to them (^_^) Some of my friends are still actively blogging, keep it up, guys! But sadly *sigh*, some blogs are all dusty and full of spider webs~ come back and tidy it up!! :p

All the hoppings made me reminisced back into the old days, a couple of years ago, when I started blogging. Thanks to Pojan, he helped a lot in those early days. And of course, earlier bloggers such as Arshana and Ati, thanks. Luckily I have basic HTML. The template had been changed 3 times if I'm not mistaken. I think I'm gonna stick with this one for another year or more. It's pretty, isn't it?

I never had a diary. I was afraid somebody would read my diary. Haha, funny, I know. Macam la blog ni takde orang boleh baca :p and I have a very bad handwriting. Plus, it's hard to keep a diary. So, I thought it might be nice to have a blog as a diary.

I started with Reaching Stardom as my very first entry. That was in August 2005!!! Wow, another 3 months and Scandals in Lutfi's Life will celebrate its 3rd birthday!~ Haha. Anyway, I didn't intend to reach stardom, it's just that it sounded good as the title of my very first post :p

I am writing not for my self-satisfaction, not for expressing my feelings to the world. Neither for glory, nor for the fame. It's good if I get paid though...huhu. I am purely writing a diary of my life, and I am writing this diary especially for her to read. But of course you guys can read it too. Make yourself at home! ;) Huhu. I remember dedicating this blog to her in my first entry. Oh, if you're wondering who she is, she's my future wife (^_^) God knows if she's already reading this~

I'm a cold guy. Well, I used to be a really cold guy. Yeah, cold, not cool~ haha. My life is kinda like a purple color, a lil mysterious. I didn't really talk much. That's why, another reason for me blogging is to share something with my close friends.

Yeah, back then I expected no more than 10 people to be reading my blog. Just some close friends. I didn't go out there and advertise my blog wherever I go. I did, however, post a bulletin once in friendster. But that's it and that was a very long time ago, it didn't help anyway~ I certainly didn't expect many comments on my entries either. But it's good that my friends were supportive. Thank you.

Now, I don't know how many people are reading my blog, but it certainly is more than 10. Some said,"Hey, I read your blog." Then I go,"Huh???" Huhu. Got a lot of comments sometimes, even anonymous comments. I dunno, some may be bored with what I wrote in this blog. That's OK. But I'm glad to know that some readers enjoyed reading 'em. Some said they were inspired by what I wrote. I thought they were kidding at first, then they started telling me how I inspired them. Then I said to myself, "God, I really did that?" But then, it's all from Him, isn't it? (^_^) Recently, someone said "Oh, Lutfi has a soft side after all...". Ampeh~ Muahaha :p

This is my diary, so most of what's written here are from myself. I may be inspired by something else, but the words are my own. I use English, so that I can improve my 2nd language, bit by bit. I suck at describing situations in English, but I feel more comfortable conveying my feelings and thoughts through it. I rarely quote from other people, you know, like from Shakespeare or Gandhi or the president of Guatemala etc. 99.5% of what I wrote are truly mine. I always try to put feelings in my writings, coz I want her to enjoy reading this later. And I usually talk about myself, and my thoughts. After all, it's a diary, isn't it?

To all the ladies, and to all the gentlemen. Thank you for spending your precious time visiting this not-stupendous blog of mine, and thank you for all the comments you laid to me. Even though it's a diary, it's good to have you guys around to share it with. I truly appreciate.

The Girl Who Lost The Bet

If u have read 'A Bicycle To Remember', there was this 'budak kecik' who dared me to cycle from KT to Kuantan. Yeah, so kecik (i mean, short) that I just have to look down on her. Huhu :p Oh, I'm not gonna reveal her name here. Let's just call her 'The Girl Who Lost The Bet'. In short, TGWLTB, but please read it in full, otherwise it wouldn't sound dramatic. (Show a lil sympahthy for her, will ya? :p) Anyway, if the lil tortoise is reading this and decides to come out of the shell and publicize herself, be my guest. No harm done on my side. Huhu. As the story goes, TGWLTB said I could ask for ANYTHING, it would be her treat, and she would HEAR & OBEY. I repeat, HEAR & OBEY~ lalalalalaaa~ (^_^)v

My alter ego (the evil one :p) refuse to just let her plainly buy me a plain lunch or dinner. He wanted some entertainment. Tsk tsk, he is sooo evil~ He said to me,"We must use this rare opportunity to make her suffer and bring her misery. Muahahaha!" Sooo evil~ tsk tsk tsk...Then I got influenced by the evil me, "Yeah, my life is a little plain, I should add up some spices and colors~" So I agreed with him. But since I'm a not-so-evil person, I tried to make a win-win situation, where she would also benefit from it. Til now, me n my evil alter ego came up with more than 10 conditions so far for TGWLTB to fulfill on D-Day she's treating us. Errr...me :p

1ST CONDITION: TGWLTB must be happy on D-Day. [ Huhu, I won't be enjoying my meal if there's a sad person sitting in front of me, will I? ]

2ND CONDITION: TGWLTB must be healthy on D-Day. [ Same explanation as previous, I'd just lose my appetite~ and I don't wanna be sending her to a hospital. Haha ]

3RD CONDITION: TGWLTB must be confident of herself on D-Day. [ This has something to do with her character, yeah she lacks self-confidence sometimes. But it also has something to do with the 10th condition! ]

4TH CONDITION: TGWLTB had moved on from any of her sad past, experience or crush, things related to love and relationship. [ Well, since she had a long fruitless crush and a couple of bad experience with love and relationship, I might as well help her move on. ]

5TH CONDITION: The length of TGWLTB's hair must be below her chest. [ Simply want her to suffer and make her life more difficult, but in a way, making her try something new. She said the longest she kept so far was up to her shoulder. I'm not gonna see it anyway, wouldn't know if she cheats later :p ]

6TH CONDITION: The treat will neither be in Terengganu nor Kelantan, unless stated otherwise by Lutfi Lukman. [ No good+EXPENSIVE+exotic place to eat lah at these 2 states~ Lagipun suasana macam kureng je~ I don't know much bout other states though. Most probably D-Day would be in KL ]

7TH CONDITION: TGWLTB must write down all the conditions on a beautiful piece of paper and show it to Lutfi Lukman on D-Day. [ Gotta make sure she remembers all the conditions, rite? ]

8TH CONDITION: The bet will be void if TGWLTB got herself a boyfriend, but it will be back on if they break up before the due date. [ Do you want to see me in the newspaper? Got chopped up by a mad boyfriend or something? Huhu :p ]

9TH CONDITION: TGWLTB must weigh 45kg on D-Day. [ I'm a good person. I'm angelic :p I'm helping her to lose some weight. She said she wanted to lose some weight, so I'm just helping out a bit. And at the same time see her suffer and make her life more difficult! Less yummy food for her and she needs to exercise more~ Hahaha ]

10TH CONDITION: TGWLTB must wear a skirt on D-Day. [ Err..she wore a skirt once, and she was wondering whether it looked good, whether she should buy one and wear it more often yada yada yada~ Oh, that one belongs to her friend :p Since she lacks confidence of wearing one again, I'm here to save D-Day. Bet she'd feel awkward. Haha. Well, her pain is my gain~ ]

11TH CONDITION: On D-Day, TGWLTB must only use 'saya' when addressing herself, and 'awak' when addressing Lutfi Lukman. If she mistakenly use 'aku' when addressing herself, or 'ko' when addressing Lutfi Lukman, Lutfi Lukman is allowed to knock her head without any retaliation whatsoever. [ Just consider this as an excuse for me to knock her head for free~ (^_^) lalalalalaa~ But don't you think girls shouldn't use 'aku' and 'ko'? ]

......
...... [ There may be more coming. My evil alter ego is working on it. Tsk tsk...He is soo evil~ ]
......

FINAL CONDITION: The time limit for TGWLTB to fulfill all the conditions and treat Lutfi Lukman on D-Day is 31st of December 2010, or before one of us get married, whichever is sooner. [ We gotta have a time limit, rite? I don't wanna wait till I'm in my 50's~ haha. Oh, and may I remind you that you don't want to see me in the newspaper, got chopped by a mad husband~ Huhu :p ]

It's not that difficult, isn't it? And not to mention, FAIR. Huhu :P . The difficult ones are only no. 4, 5, 9, 10 & 11. But she's already complaining and sighing~ Hey, put the blame on the Evil Lutfi Lukman. It's not my fault. The Real (and Nice) Lutfi Lukman simply wanna make another memory (^_^)v

When will the D-Day be? It is up to The Girl Who Lost The Bet now (^_^)

The Breakup Songs : Final Verse

I don't think breaking up is easy, but Alhamdulillah, I went through it without too much difficulties. What happened between me and her, I don't think any normal guy could take it. I would really like to get it off my chest, but I couldn't do it. Not now. One fine day, perhaps, in the arms of my lovely wife :) Oh, in addition to what had been going on between me and her, I was the president of a society back then. (Lepas abis meeting abang call la balik. Tapi tak paham-paham. And the phone kept vibrating...). Exam was around the corner too when we broke up. Crazy, huh? I tried not to let my tragedy affect others though. I think I managed just that.

Why my instinct told me to keep my distance before kinda make sense now. If this happened when I was younger, perhaps I might not be able to handle it. Definitely not~

And it's not at all the end of the world. More like a new beginning to me. Now I am more certain with what I want in life, where I want to be and who I want to be with. I can restructure my life for my best interest, without considering my other half. You can also look at it as 'my second chance'. Perhaps, my 1st choice wasn't the best for me. (and of coz, I might not be the best choice for her too). So, both of us are allowed to choose again. Pray that I'll marry someone in 2010! (^_^)v

Before I was in the relationship, I've always wondered how it would feel to break up with the one you love. We got so many songs telling you about love and heartbreak, picking up and dropping off, the sweet and the bitter feelings. I wonder if I would enjoy these songs better after I broke up with someone. I got my answer now. Yes! Haha :p However, when I was with her, I hope it would never happen. Truth hurts, but I accepted it with an open heart.

For those who have been brokenhearted, I dedicate these songs to me, and you too. Be sad, but not for too long. Get back on your feet. Chin up, cheer up. Stand tall. Head held high. Wipe off the traces of your weeping. Take a deep breath. Open your eyes. Bismillaahi Ar-rahmaani Ar-rahiim. Continue walking. You are not yet at your final destination ;)

Trying not to break
But i'm so tired of this deceit
Every time I try to make myself
Get back up on my feet
All I ever think about is this
All the tiring time between
And how
Trying to put my trust in you
Just takes so much out of me

-Linkin Park, From The Inside-


You were everything I wanted
You were everything a girl could be
Then you left me brokenhearted
Now you don't mean a thing to me
-----------
Thought that everything was perfect
Isn't that how it's supposed to be?
Thought you thought that I was worth it
Now I think a little differently

-Plain White T's, Hate (Really Don't Like You)-


You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

-Daughtry, Over You-


I'm holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground
And I'm hearing what you say
But I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down
But wait...
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around and say..

That it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

-One Republic feat. Timbaland, Apologize-


Sudah usai sudah
Cerita engkau dan aku
Ku anggap sebagai bingkisan kalbu

-Kangen Band, Tentang Aku, Kau dan Dia-

The Breakup Songs : Chorus

Yes, be aware that these are only MY words, from MY point of view, and I am a MALE human. Perhaps, I'm in the wrong. Well..I don't give a damn anyway :p Girls, if you don't like what I'm about to say, skip this entry. But I think this piece is good for you. So you better read it. Huhu.

Some advices.

• Girls, be confident with yourself. You're great, always great. He's in love with you~ Don't give a damn about those prickly little voices in your head. You're wonderful to him. He sincerely loves you! Don't doubt yourself. But of course, if you love him as much, improve yourself bit by bit. No rush ;) Try not to degrade though :p

• Girls, sulking is good. Big sulk once in a while is great. But big sulk once a month? That's pretty tiring. Once a week...Err..are you a black widow? Or do you want to be a widow? You'll kill him!~

• Girls, I know you're in love. A love soo deep you can't even see the bottom. But you don't have to text him every minute and call him everyday. There's a possibility that he would pity you, and then he'd be the one calling you instead (T_T) Lagi haru kalau tiap-tiap hari dating~ If he's filthy rich, don't give a damn lah~ huhu.

• Girls, trust him (Unless...he's a playboy :p). Love is a subtle thing, it's a conscience. Trust that he loves you, even when he's far away, even when you're not in touch for a month. Have a little jealousy. But mind you, ONLY A LITTLE. Never lose your self-confidence. And guys, trust her as much.

• Girls, never interfere with his business. I mean, real business, money-related business. Unless if you're really good at it lah. Especially when you include emotions and feelings in his business. Do you think he's heartless? Shame on you.

• Girls, be the great woman behind the great man. Even better, be the great woman beside the great man. Yes, you are the other half of him. You're suppose to make him complete, so that he can be a better person, a great person. Take him to the top, not drag him down to the bottom of the sea~ Same goes to the guys, be the great man of your wonderful woman ;)

• Girls, never try to test him. Never try to test him in the name of love. He usually knows it when you're testing him. Sometimes, he plays according to your rule. You happy. But keep in mind that he can always deliberately turns the tables around. End result? You not happy, huhu. Right back at you. Padan muka nak test sangat~ But seriously, don't test your partner. Hina dan keji.

• Girls, never ever make him do something in the name of love. If it's only for jokes or simply for fun, that's ok. But if it's for something serious, that's very low~it's like you're selling your love, girl. Again, hina dan keji.

• Girls, you're not the only one with problems, sadness, headache, heartache or whatever. He has feelings too. He needs to lean on to you as well. He needs to rest on your shoulder once in a while, and cry in your chest if he has to, embraced by your soft arms. Well, not as often as you girls do :p Still, consider that, k.

• Girls, take good care of yourself. Take good care of yourself. Take good care of yourself. Take good care of yourself. Take good care of yourself. You're living in a big bad world. Please, take good care of yourself.

• And Girls, as Che'Nelle (was it her?) said in Hitz.fm, I didn't remember the exact thing she said, but it's about being happy with yourself. Don't be sad and expect your other half to come and make you happy. Be happy, and when he comes into your life, he will add more happiness into your life. Double happy (^_^)
  

What I said above doesn't work for a jerk. A stupid jerk simply deserves a kick in the balls. Leave him! You deserve a better guy! That's all I have for now. Girls, no grudge on me, k. Peace (^_^)v Oh, anybody wanna add some more? Be my guest!

The Breakup Songs : Chapter 2

We started as strangers on cyber space - MIRC. That was...end of '99 or early 2000. Oh, we had these rules - No pictures, no phone calls, no meetings. Even with those rules, we became bestfriends ever since. Then on the 5th of February 2006, she confessed her feelings. I've never ever seen a picture of her, never heard her voice, and never met her in person, yet I accepted her wholeheartedly. Couldn't help it, she said

'I love u, dammit!'

Haha. But really, I liked her attitude. After that, we were happy.

But then she started to feel inconfident, thinking that my existence by her side was too good to be true, and that I deserved a better girl. She even claimed that she was fat and had a very dark skin, a very ugly person she is. Her favorite phrase was 'go for another girl'. Well, as for me, I've made my decision, and my decision was firm. It doesn't matter how she looks like, I'm all for her. I always wondered why it is so hard for her to accept that fact. This phase, I had to go through it at least once a month~

She broke the 1st promise by looking at my pictures in this blog. Then she broke the 2nd promise too. We broke the 3rd one together by agreeing to meet each other. I went to her house during Hari Raya. That's the first time I saw her face. Looking at her for the first time, I asked myself, 'WHY? She's lovely, has a pretty face and a beautiful body, so why is she so inconfident being with me?'

Well, we had our fun, enjoying each other's company, went out together a few times. She was nothing but sweet, pretty, adorable and so on and on and on (you don't wanna hear more of these :p)

The unpleasant thing is, at least once a month she would find something to argue about with me. And in the end, 'Go for another girl~'. Lack trust and lack self-confidence - two main ingredients for a pitiful relationship. I had to rebuild that trust, again and again, everytime we argued. Believe me, it was damn tiring.

Male or female, guys or girls, men or women, we all need someone that we can lean on to. You know, a shoulder to cry on. No matter how strong a person is, he needs to lean on someone once in a while. She's always leaning on me, wallowing in self pity. So I hardly had my chance to cry on her shoulder instead.

All those tiring moments, added with several big incidents, and you have a breakup ;)

The breakup songs : Chapter 1

[Background song while I'm writing this: Dan Sebenarnya, by Yuna, but disumbangkan by Zack (my roomate)]

After the SHE series (refer to archive July and August 2007), I haven't really talk about my breakup, have I? Hmmm...more than a year has passed since the day she let me go. Nothing much, it's just that I've been thinking a bit, about how I've been doing throughout this one year. Wiser, yes. Better, too ;)

BEFORE

I wasn't an introvert, but more like a 'close' person. I don't socialize much with girls, except with the friends I'm very familiar with. Not because I couldn't, but it's because I wouldn't. My instinct told me to keep my distance from the other gender. Why? I didn't really know why. It just felt safer that way.

I wasn't a really bad muslim. A lil bad perhaps, with some bad deeds here and there. What can I say~ Average human with flaws. Huhu :p

As a person, putting aside my action and reaction towards girls, I think I'm a pretty nice dude. The guys who really knew me back then would say I'm a decently nice guy :p

DURING

I started to open myself up a bit. I dunno, it just felt safer with her attached to me. My heart was with her, so other girls couldn't do anything to it. Hence, I started to get to know my female colleagues. No other agenda, simply for the sake of friendship, catching up a couple of years that I had missed.

I think I was a better muslim. Well, I did a couple of big mistakes, in which I very very much regretted later. But in terms of faith, I wouldn't know for sure coz it's His judgment, but I think I was closer to Him than before. Even after she did what she did, I still reach out for her. I loved her for the sake of Allah. That's how I always thought about us, though in the end I was not appreciated. Did I not try hard enough...? I wondered.

As a person...I think I got nicer as well. Now it's ok to be kind to everyone, regardless of their genders. I even got myself a nice lil' sis.

AFTER

I'm still being open. I did consider going back to the me before, but I think I am wise enough to handle my relationship with anyone now. A little insecure though, because I've taken my heart back from her and keep it with me. It's a little wobbly in my care :p Nonetheless, I manage to keep it safe to this very day.

Yes, a much better muslim. I learnt from my mistakes. I have a stronger faith, I'd say. But I really have to work on the practical part. Dah lama tak puasa sunat ni. Selalu subuh ala elephant plak tu~ tsk tsk tsk~

Still a nice person....though many may disagree :p

I'm holding back a little. Gotta be careful with what I do. Since this blog is read by many, let's not venture much into this part ;)

A bicycle to remember

FUHH~ last week was hectic and tiring~ I did one helluva thing. Another great, crazy, stupid and pain-heals-chicks-dig-scars-glory-lasts-forever adventure! Hold your jaw tightly, don't let it drop in awe of disbelief. Ehem ehem, drum roll please.................

On the 10th of March 2008, I cycled from Kuala Terengganu to Kuantan! Huhuhu :p

Kenapa, tak percaya? I'm not sure why I did such a crazy thing. The best reason I could think of until now are, to test my limit, to make memory and lastly and the most logical reason is to bring my bicycle to IIUM. Eh, tak logic ke? Haha. I leave the judgement to you. Oki doki, allow me to share the chronological story of my insane journey. This time, in both English and Bahasa Melayu ;)

[Reminder: Italicized words are either conversation or my thoughts]

A month before, I got my old bicycle fixed. A purple Lerun Mountain Bike with 21 speed. Codename: Storm.It has no absorber, no suspension whatsoever. Just a plain mountain bike. My ma bought it for me when I was in form 1 - early 1997, for Ringgit Malaysia 330. I haven't ridden it since late 2001!

The night before D-day. Ma, Pi nok balik dengan beskal esok. She didn't believe me at first. Yeah, who in a healthy mind would? Huhu. Surprisingly, she's OK with it. We joked around about it, along with my brother and my lil sis. But deep down I knew I was serious.

Here's the route I took:

KUALA TERENGGANU --> Kuala Ibai --> Chendering -->

Rusila --> Rhu Rendang --> MARANG --> Merchang -->

Rantau Abang --> Kuala Abang --> DUNGUN --> Paka -->

Kertih --> Kijal --> KEMAMAN -->

Cherating --> Gebeng --> Semambu --> KUANTAN!!

*The names in capitals are districts/daerah

1^ST HALF: Journey in Broad Daylight

6.20am - Bangun, mandi, solat Subuh, put on my gears - a pair of LEE COOPER jeans, a long sleeve t-shirt with a glow-in-the-dark word on its chest and a cap I cilok from my KakLong :p

7.20am - Tapau bekal - char kuey a.k.a kayu keramat, a tupperware of fried rice and a bottle of mineral water. I put them in a knapsack I cilok from an old friend :p

8.00am - Bersalam-salaman dengan ibu, abang dan adik. Put on my ASADI slippers.

8.05am - Off for the adventure!! Eh, tayar macam tak cukup angin je~ So I went to the nearest gas station to inflate both tyres.

8.20am - Officially off for the great (+crazy+stupid) adventure!

Paling jauh aku pernah pergi pun sampai sebelum Chendering je. Aku berbasikal mengikut arus. Maknanya aku berbasikal di sebelah kiri jalan. The things that scared me the most on that day were buses, lorries, trucks etc., u know, the things that can really lenyek you into unidentifiable pieces, especially when crossing narrow bridges. Dah la jalan kat Rusila-Marang tgh dinaiktaraf, jalan tak elok. Scary~ huhu

9.10am - Right after Rhu Rendang, I suddenly heard something. Pssss...pssss...pssss....

No way, are you friggin' kidding me? Biar betul, ke pasir bergesel kat tayar? Several seconds later, the front tyre got all flat. Sah...Oh, just great~ Tapi nasib baik dah dekat pekan Marang! I looked around for someone with a reliable face, I found a pakcik. Asked him the nearest bicycle shop. He wasn't sure, but he said to go near the primary school. Dragging my bike, I walked with a little hope and faith. Took me about 15 mins to realize that there isn't any bicycle shop there! Hujan dah start turun secara rintik-rintik...Ampeh pakcik~ Aku bertanya lagi kepada 2-3 orang mat rempit yang tgh lepak kat depan sebuah cyber cafe. Kat Rhu Rendang sana~ Jauh tu~ Hujan ni~ I thanked them and walked on. 2-3 saat kemudian, hujan turun lebat. Haha. Aku pasrah je. Aku terus berjalan. Tapi alhamdulillah, 15 saat kemudian, hujan kembali rintik-rintik (^_^). Aku jumpa kedai motor, tanya abang kat situ, dia bagi direction. Yeay! jumpa kedai beskal!

10.20am - Teruskan perjalanan!

My butts started to feel a little sore. Haha. The seat wasn't very comfy. I had 2 short rests to replenish my energy. Nothing much, just char kuey and mineral water. At this time, I was aiming to reach Kuala Abang. There's a beautiful beach there, a nice place for me to have my lunch - fried rice! The weather was perfect. No bright sun, a lil cloudy. Just nice.

Darn~...I thought I would reach Kuala Abang in no time, but it was such a long journey through Merchang. You know, the feeling that u think u're just one step away from your destination, but the road suddenly seems endless. I bore with it and smiled anyway, and kept pedalling of course :) A little headache. Coz of the rain, perhaps.

1.15pm - Reach Kuala Abang, had my lunch, and a long rest (^_^)v

2.00pm - Teruskan perjalanan!

I intended to stop by at my KakLong's house in Dungun. I texted her, saying that I might reach her house a little past 3. But no reply :(

3.15pm - Reached Dungun. Still no reply from my sis. Went to her house, her car's not there. Still working, I guessed. What to do~ Teruskan perjalanan!

Stopped a couple of times for char kueys (yeah, i brought a lot). huhu. Oh, along the way from KT to Kuantan, I stopped many times at Petronas for 100 plus and Tropicana lime+vanilla, my favorite!

Rupa-rupanya kat tepi jalan ada banyak bangkai. Ada bangkai tikus, bangkai kucing, bangkai ular, bangkai biawak, bangkai kambing, bangkai lembu, bangkai manusia. Ok, that's a bit too much. Setakat bangkai biawak je yang benar. Selebihnya gurauan :p

5.00pm - Stopped by at a mosque. Solat zohor dan asar, jama' taakhir. Then, teruskan perjalanan! Wait, wait. I brought a kain pelekat. Considering my sore butts, I tied up my kain pelekat to the seat, for extra padding. Oh, I should have wore pampers, you know, for extra padding :p

6.00pm - Reached Kertih. Paka and Kertih are where all those oil and gas plants are located. I lepak at a bus stop, ate some char kuey, had a short rest.

I called my other sister, she lives in Kertih, working there as an engineer. She designs oil plants.

Pi kat kertih ni, KakN kat tempat kijo lagi ko? Nok singgoh ni. My family speaks in kelantan dialect.
Ho, mari la. Dok jauh doh. 10 minit jah dari situ. Jupo kat keda make lepah bala polih
10 minit tu kalu naik keto
Dahtu Pi naik gapo?
Beskal.
Huh? Gilo apo??

6.45pm - Arrived at the restaurant.

Had a chat with my sis and her friend, asking me about my journey. She thought I was kidding :p But then she thought I was crazy. Well, she's cool with it nonetheless. I ordered mee goreng and hot lime. Tengah-tengah makan tu, hujan turun dengan sangat lebat! Hoho, lucky me! (^_^)

7.30pm - Hujan dah reda. I followed my sis to her house, a 10-minute cycle from the restaurant.

Ahhhh~ bed!~ pillows!~ fan!~ Shower!~ Heaven!~

A few times my sis offered to send me to Kuantan with her Neo, Satria Neo. Dokse, nak bawak beskal. I answered her firmly. I assured her that I'll be fine.

Well, I've made it this far.
I've already cycled more than 100km.
Being here now, it wasn't that far from KT..
I'm already halfway there, to Kuantan
Just about another 100km to go..
It's already night..
Hmmm...
I want to make memory.
God, let me do this.
I want to do this.
Period.

Sempat buat bet dengan seorang budak kecik yang sangat bencikan aku. Walaupun dia rendah, tapi dia pandang rendah gak kat aku. Mungkin masa tu dia sedang berdiri di atas kerusi...huh? (Huhuhu! padan muka kalah bet! nyeh nyeh~ :p)

2^ND HALF: INTO THE NIGHT

9.00pm - Teruskan perjalanan! But I stopped by at a nearest market. Aku beli apa? Haha. Lampu suluh dan pita selofan. Nak buat apa?? Err...headlight untuk basikal aku :p Aku salotep lampu suluh tu kat alang body basikal. Puan-puan di rumah, sila pastikan suis lampu suluh tidak terbalut sekali ;)

9.20pm - Teruskan perjalanan! Untuk perjalanan malam, aku mengayuh melawan arus.

Baru je aku masuk jalan besar...Eh?...hujan? Haha. Hujan renyai-renyai. The kinda rain that I love. It's soothing. I kept pedalling (^_^) As always, I looked up towards the street lights, watching the rain fall, illuminated by the lights. They sorta sparkled.

Alamak, lampu suluhku basah~ I immediately stopped by the roadside under a jejantas, pull out a plastic bag outta my bagpack and wrapped it around the torchlight. There you go~ Ok, teruskan perjalanan! lalalalalaa~

Right after I got out of Pekan Kertih...Damn...gelap giler...Oh this'll be one helluva adventure...

It didn't rain for long, only about 10-15 minutes.

Usually there are some street lamps at junctions. I switched off my torchlight then. Power saving :p But I still have 2 spare batteries in my bag. Ada la juga aku berhenti rehat 2-3 kali di Petronas, makan Tropicana :p My own sweet moment (^_^)

Cycling in the dark like that, it's pretty damn scary. Cuak gak. Cuak giler~ :p Memang zikrullah selalu di bibir :) Selalu menanti-nanti sekiranya ada lembaga putih di bibir jalan, atau di sebalik pohon-pohon besar yang bergeseran sesama mereka kerana ditiup angin, yang di antaranya juga kedengaran bunyi ranting-ranting kecil jatuh ke bumi disambut dedaun kering yang basah.

Ketika ada kenderaan lalu, lega sekejap. Ada lampu. Ada manusia lain. Selepas itu kembali semula dalam kesamaran, hanya ditemani cahaya lampu suluh yang cahayanya tak seberapa.

Bimbang juga sekiranya ada 'si lembaga putih' yang menerpa keluar secara tiba-tiba ketika kenderaan memintas. Mungkinkah aku akan hilang kawalan, termelencong ke arah lori yang sedang menerpa pantas? That wouldn't be a pretty sight~ haha

Aku selalu ingatkan diri. Apa-apa sahaja yang Allah duga aku, adalah perkara yang aku mampu hadapi. La yukallifullahu nafsan illa wus'aha. Sekiranya Allah tunjukkan alam lain kepadaku, maka aku pasti sanggup melihatnya tanpa ragu-ragu. Nothing will ever happen without His permission. If He permits it, then I shall face my fate. If I die tonight, then die I am.

Namun begitu aku selamat (^_^)v

11.30pm - Selamat tiba di bandar Kemaman.

Agak sunyi. It took me a moment to realize that I was in Bandar Kemaman. Usually there are lots of cars and people, hustling and bustling in that small city. But I cycled happily anyway. Ye la, jalan besar, kereta takde, lampu banyak, terang (^_^)v

Other than my butts, the back of my neck hurt too. I've been holding onto the handle for more than 10 hours now~ The right side of my neck hurt more, perhaps the result of using the computer mouse too often. huhu. Baca manga banyak sangat~ Both legs were quite tired. My knees were pretty worn out. My left knee starting to hurt a bit. Pain heals...

12.10am - Reached Cherating. Stop by at a restaurant. Ordered a hot milo.

Tengah-tengah minum milo tu, hujan lebat! Hoho, lucky me! (^_^)v

12.30am - Hujan dah berhenti, teruskan perjalanan!

I didn't remember the road in Cherating being sooo dark and sooo looong~ Seingat aku ada banyak kedai-kedai makan! Huuu~ But I kept pedalling anyway. Lalalalalaaa~ Ada bahu jalan yang tidak rata, aku hampir hilang kawalan. Cuak~ terus check tayar. Nasib baik OK. Ada mat-mat motor passed by me and gave a friendly wave. Huhu, takut gak kalau diorang tetiba tahan aku untuk diperkotak-katikkan :p

It's a cold night, but my body kept producing heat. Somehow I felt a little warm.

1.45am - Since I won't be seeing any restaurant after this, I had another stop at Restoran Sri Baging 2 near the end of Cherating. Cun jugak... I mean, pekerja kat situ. Yang perempuan la, bukan yang ada ciri-ciri kepondanan sket tu. Huhu, ada seorang awww kerja kat situ :p But I didn't care much about them. Eat my megi goreng, drink my fresh orange and watch a boring malay drama. Rest. My neck, my left knee and my butts ached some more. About 60km more to go i guess.. Just great~ huhu :p

2.10am - Gotta finish what I've started, teruskan perjalanan!

Baru je beberapa minit, hujan turun renyai-renyai. The road forked into two at the time. There's an exit to the left, into a highway which would lead to KL. It has an exit to Kuantan in between. Another path is the road people would normally use to go to Kuantan.

Huh? Lampu suluh ni macam dah loose je. Ciss, pita pelekat hilang daya lekatan disebabkan air hujan (saja buat ayat skema). I stopped by the roadside to fix it. Wrapped it up all over again. Dekat exit tu ada banyak lampu, sangat terang. And the rain was falling beautifully at the moment. God I love the scene of myself at that time! (^_^) Aku fikir pemandu-pemandu kereta yang melepasiku mesti ingat budak gila mana ni bawak basikal pagi-pagi buta~ :p

2.25am - Teruskan perjalanan!

This is when the real thrill began!! The road of Gebeng. I didn't choose the highway coz it is waaayyy too dark and i was sure there'd be less than 10 cars would go through there at sooo early morning. If anything happened, I'd be pretty much...dead meat. But this another road? Not a good option either. Cars, lorries, trucks, with narrow roads at some places. Big trees with lots of eerily silent darkness most of the times. But I have to keep moving forward.

Bateri ada 1 bar je lagi. So I switched off my handphone. Not wearing a watch, I couldn't keep track of my time anymore. There's only one thing in my head - IIUM Kuantan. I cycled.

The road of Gebeng, and from Gebeng to Semambu. God~~ it was a damn scary road~ I'm not gonna cycle there at night ever again!

Bila kita dalam ketakutan, dalam kesusahan, Tuhan akan sentiasa di sisi. Kenapa? Kita yang cuba mendekatkan diri denganNya, atau Dia yang dengan sifat pengasih dan penyayangNya datang dekat kepada kita?
I could only cling to Him.

What scared me the most?

Aku berbasikal melawan arus, hanya dengan bantuan torchlight dan sedikit tulisan di baju yang glow in the dark. Can the passing trucks see me? Everytime they put on the high beams, it made me felt so tiny. Aku tawakal je, harap-harap tak ada yang tiba-tiba melencong ke bahu jalan, ke arahku.

Ada jalan-jalan yang sangat sempit, tiada bahu jalan yang bertar, sekadar rumput. Jambatan lagi la sempit, takde bahu jalan pun~ Ada juga jalan yang sempit, berliku-liku pulak lagi. Dah la gelap! Tiba-tiba ada lori datang lagi~ Thank God I was safe and sound.

In the dark, if I caught a glimpse of something moving on the ground...Huh?! Ular ke tu?!...Alhamdulillah, no living snakes along the way~ huhu

Along that eerily silent dark road, with big trees and bushes on both sides. The wind blows sometimes and you hear branches scratching against one another, twigs falling to the wet ground. The worst part is, you are all by yourself. No one else. No cars. No trucks. Just you, pedalling alone by yourself into the night.

Oh, but then again, God is always with you. That's how I made it (^_^)

Dekat Semambu, dan dari Semambu ke Kuantan, jalan dah sangat OK. Jalan baru. Bahu jalan pun luas bertar. Now the problem is my body. The back of my neck was already numb. The muscle strained too much that it went numb, that's my best guess. Urat kat lutut kiri macam dah nak putus je...Kaki kanan sangat lenguh...Dan bontotku...adehhh...

Pain heals...Pain heals...Chicks dig scars...Glory lasts forever...I didn't decide to do this so that I can give up now...Lutfi Lukman, you did not decide to do this so that you can give up now...

Besides, I have a bet to win ;)

And I kept pedalling with all my might. I was no longer scared of the dark, the trees, I didn't even bother if any 'lembaga putih' appeared. So be it. I ignored all the pain. Biar la lepas ni tempang sebulan pun. So be it. What time was it? I didn't give a damn. Everything in and about me only focused on reaching IIUM Kuantan.

Yang kelakarnya, ada sekali tu dah nampak lampu-lampu jalan yang banyak! (*_*) Ingatkan dah nak sampai. Lega sedikit. Kayuh punya kayuh, ceh, dia gelap balik~ Long way to go~ Teruskan perjalanan!

Nampak bangunan, ada lampu (*_*) Ingatkan UIA. Ceh, kilang apa ntah. Siap kena salak dengan anjing lagi. Terus pecut! Haha

There weren't much cars anymore at that time, only trucks passed by one after another, with a few minutes interval. They must have thought that they were seeing ghost cycling. Lepas ni ada cerita. Eh korang tau tak? Jalan baru tu berhantu! Ada hantu naik basikal!

The road seemed neverending. I kept pedalling. Ada juga jalan-jalan yang membukit sedikit. God, give me strength...I kept pedalling. Di sepanjang jalan baru tu, it's like my body moved because my mind told them to move, regardless of whether my muscles were able to keep up with the movement or not. I don't really get it too. At this time, I cycled faster than I was most of the times, and I cycled consistently too, like I didn't know how to stop. The only part of me that I could feel was my head. The rests just moved by themselves. Pain? What's that?

After 2 hours of non-stop cycling, I finally could see the true light I've been searching for all night...!

4.30am - IIUM Kuantan, on my left. Persimpangan Berlian (or was it Cengkih? Haha, lupa! :p) was only about 100 metres away.

Aku stop kejap. Switched on my hp, text my ma, my sis, zali and budak kecik yang obviously kalah bet padan muka. Then, Teruskan perjalanan!

4.40am - Right in front of IIUM Kuantan. Should I go in? Makan aiskrim pun best gak ni...Yosh! Pegi 7-Eleven baru buka sebelah Restoran Rahmat! Cycled a bit more lalalalalaaa~ (^_^)

Waahhhh...bestnya!~...Mula-mula makan aiskrim Tropicana lime+vanilla flavor. Oh, hujan turun renyai-renyai~ lovely! Dah habis tu, masuk balik, beli Nestle Bliss yoghurt drink tropical flavor. Msg2 dengan my ma sket. She was kinda proud, but at the same time told me not to do such a thing ever again. Haha. I didn't promise her :p Dah habis tu, masuk balik lagi sekali, eh, ada aiskrim Tropicana baru... Tropicana Plus, with a slice of real mango. Rm 1.80. Terus try. Perghhh...sedap giler~ Sooo mango-ishly tasted like mango!

5.30am - Head back to UIA. Jumpa Pojan yang tengah on the way nak gi amik Kak Siti (PA Biotech Dept) kat terminal. Stop kat sebelah aku, buka tingkap, pastu tanya, ni Lutfi ke?

It's almost 6.00am when I reached the main gate of UIA. Ingat nak lalu je, Pak Guard bertegur sapa plak~ huhu.

Student ke?
A'ah, student..
Dari mana?
Err...Kuala Terengganu..
Hah?? Bawak basikal??
Err..a'ah...
Kamu bawak basikal malam-malam?
Err...a'ah..
Tak gelap ke?
(Aku tunjuk lampu suluh yg kulekatkan di basikal)
Kuala Terengganu...isk, jauh tu! Kamu bertolak pukul berapa?
Lapan.
Lapan malam?
Tak, Lapan pagi, semalam.
Berapa jam tu?
Err..lebih kurang 20 jam..tapi banyak berhenti.
20 jam?? Biasa ke bawak basikal jauh camni?
Tak pernah. Ni first time. Saja cari pasal :p

Dan ntah apa lagi la yang Pak Guard tu tanya. Bagus la, concern! (^_^) Dah habis bab basikal, masuk pulak bab politik! Ye la, baru lepas pilihanraya kan.. Ada la 20 minit aku tercegat kat situ borak dengan dia. Hahaha~

WowW...one hell of an adventure, one hell of a journey, one hell of a memory. I was so out of my mind~ Haha! Stupid, Crazy, but Great!

Thank you my Ma, my Sisters, my Family, my Frens, and Zali. Oh, also budak kecik yang kalah bet padan muka~ huhu (^_^)v

Guys, make memories! (>_^)

C.H.A.N.G.E

Oh, it's that season again. General Election~ the season when people increase their efforts to criticize others, but speak only the good things about themselves. Both with 200% exaggeration :p Well, you can think of it that way and hate it. Or, if you have a ripe-enough brain, u may raise up your open hand and feel that the wind is blowing hard. Is it a wind of change?

Naturally, humans are the agents of change, we have the power to change. You smile, you make someone happy. You frown, you make someone sad. Simply said, someone or something may change because you change.

The questions in mind. Should I change? This is good enough, why would I wanna change anything? Am I not comfort enough? If I make changes, will it be better FOR ME?

For those who are in the 'comfort zone', 'C.H.A.N.G.E' is one big word. They have already settled down with what they have, with what they were told they have. It is enough. They don't know, and they don't want to know about any other options that they actually have. They based their beliefs on the images right in front of their eyes, and the sounds that goes through their eardrums. I-don't-mind-not-using-my-mind kinda attitude.

I didn't get myself to register for election. Yes, my fault, my mistake, my carelessness, my bad, i admit. Anyhow, I would like to share an opinion, an option. It's a little late for me because I failed to register, but somehow I really feel like I want to see a colossal change in Malaysian politics. I am a little late in realizing things around me. This is the least I can do for a change.

I'll try to be neutral, not gonna exaggerately criticize or praise any party. Just a normal student's point of view.

Things doesn't look good these few years. Crime rate increased, kids are missing, people don't feel safe or secure anymore. Prices of goods increased. Oil price increased, and I heard it will be higher after election. We succumb to Singapore in a couple of issues, pity us. And our so-called 'imam' who proposed Islam Hadhari got his hand wrapped around a a non-muhrim woman's waist. Cool ey? Should I follow his footsteps? He's my leader after all :p

Hmm...You know, when a sponge got too saturated, it can hardly absorb any more water. Have they reached their limit? Is it because they have been in reign for so long that they fail to see their flaws and fix them. Or perhaps, the damages have been done, and those damages are irreparable. Can we, can Malaysia, move on further at this rate?

I have seen years of reign by Barisan Nasional. Yes, they are good, especially during the time of the legendary Tun Dr. Mahathir (Perhaps, he has sins, but there are too many things about him that deserves my respect). But today a thought crossed my mind. How far can Malaysia actually go? Now, it feels like we are deteriorating, inside and outside.

Not to be bias, but I kinda admire how PAS manage to take care of Kelantan with limited resources. I wonder what they can do if given proper resources. In 80's and 90's, in the hands of Barisan Nasional, Terengganu received oil royalty worth 600 million per annum. But funny, it remains as one of the poorest states. When PAS took over in 1999, the royalty was ridiculously cancelled. PAS governed the state with limited resources. Nonetheless, they managed. Therefore, I would like to see what will happen to Malaysia in the hands of PAS. Can PAS take us further?

We are the agents of change. We have the power to change. Should we change? There are risks involved. Fear. Why are we so afraid to take risks and change? Should we take those risks? I'd say yes, unless you are already comfort enough and you are pretty sure you'd be at least as comfort as you are now in years to come. To me, it's not about PAS or BN or DAP or KeAdilan. I simply want one who can take us further, physically and spiritually. I want to be safe and secure, no matter when and where, even at the darkest corner of a road. I want more money, but I want to spend less on everyday needs! Dignity, I want it the most. And yes, I want to be a better muslim. I think Malaysia needs a new breath of life. Fresh Malaysia, reborn again, in good hands.

Pak lah said this is not the time to experiment things. Somehow, I cannot agree with him on that. Sometimes, if you want to be better, it is not enough to simply improvise or fix things. Another option? Change everything. Start anew.

Sigh...

I wish I could just throw away my handphone, so that nobody could reach me. But I just couldn't do so. Why? Because there are important people who need to be in touch with me~ darn.

It was very peaceful during my practical training at Institut Kepelbagaian Biologi (Biodiversity Institute), in Lanchang, Pahang. Coz we could hardly get any phone signal there.

But why don't I want anybody to reach me?

Well, some of them simply want to fill up their time and they think bugging me would be the most productive thing to do. Oh, I hate one-way communication. They are having fun, but I'm not.

Nevertheless, there are a few people that I actually enjoy texting with. And I could go on and on and on...

But the problem is, it'll get us closer to each other. The last thing I need now is to be concerned about another person, a girl especially. I wanna be carefree for now. God, please let me stay single for another year~

Stay away from me. Let me be by myself. Don't get yourself tangled up with me. Coz I have chosen not to break another heart, not to hurt another soul.

Pergi main jauh-jauh.

rock climbing

PAIN HEALS.
CHICKS DIG SCARS.
GLORY LASTS FOREVER!

Keanu Reeves said that in his movie, The Replacements. One of the coolest things I've ever heard! It seems befitting with my latest adventure (^_^) Hoho, last weekend I went ROCK CLIMBING at Batu Caves! The Adventure & Recreational Club (ARC) collaborated with Science Students Society (SCIENCESS) to organize this 2-days program. Being a normal student I am, I got time~ muahaha.

We arrived with the determination to conquer!!

Briefing by the 'Otai' Abg Man. He's been climbing rocks for more than 10 years!
He taught us about the history, the equipments used, the communication etc. The hows, the dos and the don'ts!
The basic knot we need to learn was called 'double figure of 8, follow through with stopper'. Long ey?

BBQ! lalalalalaaa~


Eyarghhhhh!! Let's do this!!
What we did (for beginners) was called 'top roping'. They already anchored the ropes at certain heights for us. Different 'roads' have different height of anchors. For top roping, 2 people involves at the same time. The person who climbs is called 'climber', and the one holding the other end of the rope on the ground is called 'belayer'. Mind you, you have to climb with your own strength and skills! The ropes are only for safety reason, so that if you got off balanced, slipped or whatever, you won't fall down to the ground and die wastefully :p This is a very safe sport. All the equipments were tested and certified~


Dedicated rock climbers :p

Everybody was looking up at the climbers~

Hoho, that's me conquering my first road!

Reached the anchor, Peace!

Resting~

Halfway on my 2nd Road, a lil tougher this time~ I got off balance once

Yeah! Reached the anchor! No mountain is too high~ hehe

Pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory lasts forever!
My 3rd road. A lot tougher than the previous two, damn tough for me - a beginner! Plus, having climbed two roads already, I was quite worn out even before I started climbing, my hands were a bit shaky. About 2-3 metres from the top, I got off balance 5-6 times, hanging only by the rope. I almost gave up. Zero energy. Cuts and scratches on my hands and feet. I saw a lil blood on the stone I stepped on. I recalled the Goo Goo Dolls' Iris - "Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive". If I had given up, I would be regretting it now for sure. It's just isn't me to end up that way. So I gathered every ounce of my God-knows-from-where last strength and force myself to the top! (*Remember, the top here means the anchor) Thank you my belayer, Don, for being patient and supportive! ;)

That's Don at the very left, followed by Abg Man, our instructor. The rests are unknown fellow climbers :p

The ROCK CLIMBERS.
We ROCK!!

After that, muscle pain all over my body for a couple of days!~ Cuts on my hands, arms and feet. helped a bit in adding more pain :p Every movement hurts. I could barely lift my arms. I even had a hard time scrubbing my body over shower :p But hey, remember what I said? Huhu. Glory lasts forever!~ (^_^)v

Lalalalalaaa~ good goody goody~

Has it been very long since the last update? Sorry, too hooked up with dotA. Oh, for the jahil ones, dotA is a game extended from the infamous Warcraft III, but this one is played on LAN. For the jahilier ones, LAN is Local Area Network :p

Oh, btw, good news! Somehow I got A for my final year project. HAHAHA. That's not a laugh of happiness. It's just funny, coz I submitted 4 days late. Oh, another good news! This one is far better than getting A for FYP :p I've moved to a new room and we have wireless broadband in my room! Lalalalalaaa~ Blogging from my room? You bet I am!! Heaven~ muahaha. I chat, I surf, and guez what, I did some personality quiz :p Here are some of the results! (Achtung! For entertainment only, do not believe~ especially the good ones ) Alternative medicine guru, can u believe that? hohoho

Personality Test

The Protector You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity. Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is. You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience. You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them. In love, you truly see relationships as an opportunity to connect and grow. You enjoy relationships as long as they are improving and changing. You can't stand stagnation. At work, you stay motivated and happy... as long as you are working toward a dream you support. You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher. How you see yourself: Hardworking, ethical, and helpful When other people don't get you, they see you as: Manipulative, weak, and unstable

What Your Handwriting Says About You

You are sometimes a very energetic person, but you are sometimes quite lethargic. You're moody, prone to ups and downs, and you don't have a lot of endurance. You range from very outgoing to very shy. You are a shapeshifter who is very versatile. You adapt well, and you look at things from many angles. You are balanced and grounded. You know how to get along well with others. You need a lot of space in your life, and it's easy for you to feel stifled. You avoid commitment and responsibility whenever you can. You are somewhat traditional, but you are also open to change. You listen to your head and your heart. You are a poor communicator. No one really knows exactly what you're getting at.

Your Personality is Very Rare (ENTP)

Your personality type is optimistic, curious, enthusiastic, and open. Only about 4% of all people have your personality, including 3% of all women and 5% of all men. You are Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

I did another one entitled "What Kind Of Candy Are You?". But I'd rather not post the result here coz it sounds too good :p