Another week and it'll be 7 months since I tied the knot with the most beautiful woman in my eyes. I hardly have time to write since then. Not because I was busy being a good husband, even though I am a good husband, but because I didn't make the time to write. I'm still struggling with my Masters. But the truth is, time was mostly spent on unbeneficial entertainment which I find still hard to let go for the moment. Good thing that my wife is such a lovingly compromising person.
Every month since the knot we were hoping to conceive a beautiful baby. Well, our genes seems quite promising. The baby should turn out pretty good-looking, insya Allah. Haha (^_^) Our nieces and nephews looks cute and handsome. So I have some proofs to back up my words! We even have a couple of names ready. One for a boy and another one if she's a girl. Both are beautiful names inspired by beauty. And it was decided unanimously (^_^)
My wife really wants to bear her own child. She's been reading a lot on motherhood. She is a little bit afraid, but her heart is more than ready. I'm taking things easy. But it feels heavy for me to watch her at every end of her monthly cycle when it didn't happen. There's nothing I can do other than be next to her, hold her in my arms and look at her with loving eyes. Most of the times I would say,"We'll try again!" and I would whisper words of advice even though I know that she already knows them all well. I know that women don't need all those advice when they are down. But it's hard for me to keep silent when she's blankly staring at me like hoping I would save her from the despair. I feel really helpless for not being able to do anything.
A few years back, I really wanted to have my own children. I felt that children were so adorable at the time. There was a time a the traffic light when an adorable little girl waved back at me when I waved my hand at her. It was so adorable that I would die with no other regret. Back then I really wanted my own kids. The feeling slightly change after I got married. Feels like I'm not spending enough time with my wifey even though I'm with her almost 24/7. So I want to spend more time with her, just the two of us. But I'm not saying that I don't want kids. I'm saying it's fine either way. I'm happy with wife alone. And I'll also be happy with wife and adorable little kids. Perhaps whole lot happier (^_^)
2 comments:
kepada she and luppy;
aku pun sama mcm korang jugak. belum dikurniakan rezeki lagi. tapi aku percaya, Allah dah tetapkan utk kita, cuma lambat atau cepat atau hmmmm..
as for now, aku bukan takmau anak lagi, tapi komitmen dan kesediaan kami buat aku pikir bnyk kali dan rasa takut :( yelah, master blum habes, komitmen keje agak men stress kan..tapi if Allah kasi dlm masa terdekat ni, kami terima dgn terbuka.
moga Allah merahmati kita semua ya. take care guys, miss both of u :)
Thanks mekla. Sama la kita. haha. Sama2 la berusaha chayo2!
Kami pun dah lama plan nak gi jmp korang dan visit mekros, tp slalu x berkesempatan. Huhu. Tapi 22 September ni ada kenduri kat area rawang. So ingat nak gi ziarah korang sekali ;)
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