Being a boyfriend, or being a husband, which one is more difficult?
I've always wanted to be married. The feeling sprouted in me ever since I started learning to love someone. That would be year 2005 when I was in my third year of university when this kinda feeling started to grow and evolve. Yeah, it evolves. Because the feeling is somehow different with every girl that I dated. It gets better, sweeter, stronger and wilder.
I've dated two girls before my current girlfriend, and I swear to God I was serious with both of them. If my family said, "Lutfi, get married", I would not hesitate for even one second to go and ask for her hand. Sadly in these days and age, especially in Malaysia, no matter how much love you have for a girl, marrying her is no easy feat. My family, her family, tradition, money, and everything else that matters to my family and hers. It's no longer about me and her, it's everybody's business including uncles and aunties.
It's just hard when you're bound by morals and religion, and by religion here I only mean being a good son and be nice to your parents. In fact Islam encourages marriage as soon as you want to, and as soon as you are ready to be married. I'm not sure what happen to that part of Islam in Malaysia today. In university, you have to wait till you graduate. Then after you finish your study you have to have a good job. It's all about the money. Why? Because the bride's parents are demanding mahar (bride price) by the certificates that their daughter has, whether she has a diploma or a degree or even higher certs! Ridiculous~ Why else? Because both families are going to celebrate it big. And even after you graduated and have a high-paying job, your parents have to give their approval on your choice of wife. My previous relationships crumbled while waiting for all those extra things to fall into place. Exactly why? Because I'm a good son.
No matter how wishful my heart was, marriage didn't happen for me the first time, neither the second time. Perhaps it was my fault? Was i too weak of a man to just go and grab the woman that I love regardless of heaven or hell? I never meant to hurt any fragile heart. Every word and every promise, I said it all with sincerity. Every move was always with love, and never with lies. My only intention was to love and be married to her, and live happily ever after! And even now with current (and hopefully my last!) girlfriend, even when I have graduated, have a good job, have enough money, I still have to wait for something else to fall into place! Should I just elope with my girlfriend to Thailand and get married there?!
I don't know how you can measure love, but I feel as if the love gets deeper and deeper with every girlfriend that I have. Even though the seriousness is the same, but the feeling is different. The way I loved my second ex was different than the way I had loved my first ex. And the way I love my current girlfriend is different than the way I loved my second and first exes. Like I said, the feeling evolves...
11 comments:
aku doakan yang terbaik untuk hang
Pengalaman mematangkan usia (cewah~) moga dipermudahkan :)
Jangan lupa jemput ;)
**bana**
bila aku nak dpt anak yg lebih comel drpd azkiya ni....
**bie**
bie kawin la dulu, takpe langkah bendul :P
I am leaving for Umrah soon.. Anything specific you wanna request/ask/make du'a for? ^^
YES!! Doakan rumah my mom cpt siap supaya Ahmad Lutfi Lukman cepat berkahwin dgn Nur Rashidah Maidin ek =D mekaceh!
tak sure ko ingat aku lagi ke tak. Nak cakap entri sweet. hehe. Semoga kawin cepat n bergembira :)
hahhaha dammit!
Mesti la ingat bro! Nampaknya ko masih blogger yg istiqamah :P Thanks for still visiting blog bersawang ni. haha. Tima kasih juga utk pujian dan doa itu ;)
Lupa ya saya cakap apa tahun-tahun lepas?
Saya selepas Zack dan Lutfi :)
Zack dah lepas, tunggu majlis Mr. president pulak huahua
Agreed that feelings evolved too, but how you explain the evolution of your feeling theory? Age factor? Lover?
Being a boyfriend, or being a husband, which one is more difficult?
Setiap kebajikan yang dibuat bersama isteri itu pahala, termasuk sentuhan mesra, solat jamaah, etc~
Boyfriend, banyak pantang larang. so, jadi bf lagi susah. hehe. semoga cepat kahwin dgn yang tersayang.
haha bie, xpe nak langkah bendul pun, x berdosa, malah dapat pahala ;)
**anon**
Terima kasih mendoakan saya.
like i said, i don't know how to explain it. If u need to state some of the factors, perhaps they are experience, maturity, the different girls involved with their different characteristics, n of coz the chemistry between two persons plus their interactions with their surroundings.
And I do agree with u that being a bf is much more difficult, hence this piece was written.
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